Very Quick Update

Well, Round 8 is going good so far. I am up, that's progress. I know I won't stay up long enough to ring in the new year but that's ok. I am under the influence of Ativan so I am a little slow with processing. Just wanted to let you know I'm ok. I will write more later.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Love,
Michele;

German Roasted...

We are still living in the tropics over here. Scott said the gas company was here the other day reading the meter. He thinks someone tipped them off to our excessive use of natural gas. I guess they thought they better come out here and verify the meter! Last week someone gave us some German roasted nuts. Scott is of German heritage and he likes to snack on them. Tonight he was eating them and he said it's so hot in here, he has his own set of German roasted nuts! He came home the other day and Emily had put on shorts. This may not sound unusual but we're talking about a child who never picks out clothes or dresses herself. I, on the other hand, was walking around with my new blankie wrapped around me. I have become very attached to my new blankie, all I need is my thumb and I'll look just like Emily!
Megan wanted me to tell everyone she finished book 7 of Harry Potter tonight. Within an hour, she was contemplating starting over with book 1.
I had my last physical therapy appointment today. I have been getting myofaucial therapy. My back feels much better. My therapist, Katrina, joined an elite club today. She is one of the few people I have allowed to come near my port. I was very brave in letting her massage around it. Scared, but brave.
I have had such an enjoyable week, but it's back to work tomorrow! I feel great!
Keep in touch!
Michele;

Christmas chitchat

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Emily's Christmas wish came true. I felt good all day and today I feel great too. I have been cleaning out and organizing things but I have to take a break every now and then to rest. Our house is a disaster! There are toys everywhere. Emily's favorite gift is her Clap & Laugh Microphone. She has been performing for us for 2 days. After she tells her jokes, she pushes the foot pedals on the platform and the "audience" laughs or claps. I have been trying to post pics but the blog site is not cooperating. Scott outdid himself this year with my gifts, I got lots of really nice stuff.
Thanks to everyone who sent a Christmas card. We got a record number! Megan just counted the greeting card pics- we have 36!
I looked on my calendar the other day and realized my last chemo treatment will fall on our 13th wedding anniversary, Feb 25th. I am still trying to decide how I want to celebrate the end of chemo. Maybe I'll throw a party! We are taking a big vacation but not till summer. We want to wait until I get my strength back. I have always wanted to go to the Outer Banks so I think that's what we'll try for.
Monday is Round 8. I'll keep you posted.
Thanks for the prayers!
Love,
Michele;

Today is Thursday, Tumor-oh is Friday...

2 posts in 2 days, I've very wordy this week. I had another blunder today that my friend Twylia thought was so funny she had to call me. I sent her an email today to cancel some plans but I typed "I need to cancer our plans". Ha! Maybe I'll just start substituting words with medical terminology, I could create my own version of the Redneck Dictionary, like "hey, you want to chemo-ver to my house", "I tried colon' you but you didn't answer". Anyway, I thought that was really funny.
I can't believe I forgot to tell you about my Velcro mouth!!! I had read on the Colon Club about people waking up with a dry mouth and a stuck tongue, but I thought they were exaggerating. The other night I woke up and my tongue was literally stuck to my palate. I actually heard it crunch when I removed it, it sounded just like velcro. Then another night, I woke up disoriented, I didn't know my tongue was stuck. I sat up in bed and tried to say "I need to pee" but it came out "ah nee ta puh". Then I jerked my tongue and it actually ripped the skin right off my palate. Ouch.
Physical therapy is going well. Thank you Christi and Katrina. I am going to Healthpoint, which is where I worked for 7 years. So I got to see all kinds of friends I haven't seen in awhile. I did find out I have the worst posture ever (they didn't say it exactly like that) so they've got me doing all kinds of exercises and changing of old habits.
OK, I'm done talking. My new blankie is calling my name. I got it from Kasey yesterday. Ahh, it's SO SOFT. Emily and I are going to snuggle on the couch. Tonight is a big night for Megan, the new pool at the University opened up and her swim team (Go, Seals!) will be swimming there from now on. She was so excited to go swim in it.
I won't be posting for several days so I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!
Love,
Michele;

All I Want For Christmas...

Well, I know why people have been saying with surprise You Look Good! Because now I look sick. I hit a 2 on the tear scale this weekend when I realized just how bad I look. I have bags under my eyes, brown patches on my skin and my hair has taken on a new texture. I am still trying to figure out how chemo has given me a thousand more freckles than I already had. For the first time since this started, I realized what it's like to look sick. It's no fun. I got out the "Look Good...Feel Better" bag of cosmetics (remember those?) this morning in hopes of perking myself up. Then I called my hairdresser and she is going to work on my hair Thursday. I am perplexed over the hair thing. It reminds me of the story in the Bible where the widow had no food and she needed oil and flour and Elijah told her the oil and flour would not run dry. Every day I lose handfuls of hair but I still have plenty to spare.
I wanted to share an Emily story. I have told several people but I thought it was worth blogging about. Last week she hit a 3 on the tear scale and told me all she wants for Christmas is for me to feel better on Christmas. She said she wanted to tell Santa that's all she wants. Then she folded her little hands and said "Dear Jesus, please let Mommy feel better on Christmas". I did the only thing I could think of- I promised her I would feel great on Christmas! Now every night, she prays the same prayer. Then Megan brought home a letter she wrote at school, she had to write a letter to Jesus. So in the letter she said "maybe you'll make Mom better". Oh, it's such a heartbreaker!
I am going to physical therapy tomorrow. I have been having back pain. I know it's b/c I have been so inactive lately. I think I am out of alignment or something. I think I've spent too much time laying around! Otherwise, I feel pretty good. The only big problem this week is these darn nosebleeds. I have a chronic post-nasal drip from the chemo but it's all blood now. Tonight, Scott and I were eating and he said I think your nose is bleeding. How gross is that.
Ok, this turned out to be a long post. Thanks for reading my blog, I love all the comments. Kim and Carley, welcome back to the blog, I was worried about you!
Talk soon.
Love,
Michele;

Peters Paradise Island...now serving juice boxes

If you are longing for a tropical vacation this holiday season, you might want to stop by our house. I have it so hot in here, you would think we were living in Aruba instead of Cape. I cannot seem to warm up! Poor Scott and Megan have been wearing their summer clothes around the house. I have the furnace cranked up, the gas fireplace on, candles lit, layers and layers of clothes...I think we should set up some beach umbrellas and make some tropical drinks. Which brings me to my next point. I have been stricken with the most unquenchable thirst this week. No matter how much I drink, it's not enough. I think that's why chemo went so well, b/c I am drinking so much water and juice. I had a lightbulb moment last week. I wanted juice so bad but couldn't figure out how to drink it at room temperature. Then it hit me- juice boxes! So I am now reverted back to toddlerhood, carrying around my juice box. I have drank dozens of them!
So anyway, that's the scoop. If you haven't received a Christmas card from me, it's b/c I continue to suffer short term memory loss and now I can't even remember who I sent them to. But that's another blog, I won't even go into the memory loss right now. Besides, I wouldn't remember if I did tell you.
Have a great weekend!
Love,
Michele;

Quick update

Just a quick update. This round of chemo has gone better than any so far. I am more tired this time but otherwise, I'm ok. Tonight I feel like I have the flu, but I think that's the Neulasta shot I got today. Work just wore me out today, I had some rowdy kids.
I have to decide- do I want chemo on New Years Eve or wait until Wed Jan 2nd. If I wait, that's just less time I have to recuperate for the next round. I haven't talked to Scott about it yet. I am leaning towards having it on Monday, I just won't be awake to ring in the new year. Part of me feels like sleeping thru it anyway, I don't want to have to reflect on the past year and think about what the new year holds. I know that sounds very negative but that's how I feel.
Tuesday, I lost hearing in my left ear. That is a side effect of the chemo. It has come back a little bit but it's not where it should be. I was also getting a high frequency feedback when anyone made noise. That went away too. I posted my concern on the Colon Club and some jerk had the nerve to tell me, and this is a quote "does a speech pathologist really need good hearing anyway?" The nerve!
Gotta go.
Michele;

Lucky # 7

Megan was right. This was lucky #7. She kept telling me 7 is lucky, and she believed I would do better this time. This round went so much better. It didn't start out good. When I got to the chemo room, I asked for the private room and then I hit a 3 on the tear scale. I was scared. I asked for immediate Ativan. So I feel asleep and when they woke me up to go home, I said Wow we weren't here very long today. She said "hon, it's 2:30". I slept almost the entire time. I do regret being so foggy when I met with Dr. Lilly. All I can remember thinking was Oh, he finally got brave enough to violate Southeast dress code, he's wearing jeans. Now that thought is sure to help me with my treatment...I had a whole list of things to talk to him about and all I can think about is the Southeast dress code.
I'm getting tired. I will write more later. Just wanted to let you know I'm ok.
Michele;

Round 7

Taking a trip to Chemoville...Round 7 on Monday. Scott is taking me. I am scheduled to see Dr. Lilly. It will be a long day. I don't know when I will post again.
See you when I get back.
Michele;

Today's Headline- "Hubby Bans Pedicures"

Scott and I have known each other for 17 years and we have a great relationship. He gives me his opinions on my crazy ideas and...I always do what I want. It's a great way to survive a marriage. However, there are times when my ideas are so crazy, he will use the phrase "do what you want, I can't stop you", and that's when I know he means business. Thus was the conversation we had this weekend when I said I wanted another pedicure. He was not happy about this. He is so worried about me catching something, he even felt the need to remind me of when I used to rant about the dangers of nail salons (which I have totally blocked from my memory). His side of the conversation went something like this- "it only takes one bacteria- just one...you could get nail rot...lose a foot...it would all be over...do what you want...I can't stop you". So now I am left to ponder how my feet are going to survive without a pedicure until next spring. It's my one and only way to pamper myself. I can go 6 months without a haircut, a week without makeup, I am totally low-maintenance but I REALLY LOVE my pedicures. OK, I will stop now. Someone please promise me that if this cancer kills me, you'll make sure my toes are pretty for the funeral. Now that I think about it, have them open up the lower portion of the casket and show my toes but leave the top portion closed. Isn't that a great idea?!!!? I'll make sure I put that in my final plans!!!
Gotta go, time to get Emily on the bus.
Keep in touch,
Michele;

As pretty as...

Well, I must be doing okay, I was able to work almost a full day today! I never thought I would say that I miss working- but I really do. Wednesday when my father-in-law drove me to OptionCare to get my pump unhooked, we drove near the office where I am a part time medical consultant (it's my side job). I almost cried b/c I wanted to be there, working like a normal day. I have been full of highs and lows lately. Emily always cheers me up though. She comes into my bed and asks if I have all my supplies, which includes heating pad (for my hands), kleenex (for the constant runny nose I get from chemo), pig pillow (for propping my arm on, I borrowed it from Emily), cell phone (just in case), water, etc. Poor Scott, there's not much room left in the bed for him!
Everyone keeps saying "you look good". I'm not sure why everyone says that. Emily paid me the highest compliment this week. She said in her sincerest voice (if you know Emily, you know that voice), "Mommy, you are as pretty as a 3-tailed donkey!" Wow, I feel much better now that I know I look like a donkey.

I am actually home alone tonight! The girls are spending the night with the Messmers (thank you Twylia). Scott and I thought we would have some time alone (actually we were looking forward to going to bed early) but as fate would have it, Scott had to go to the funeral home. His great uncle, who was very old, passed away. I declared that I was not stepping foot in a funeral home. I have had a lot of morbid thoughts lately, and I didn't feel like I could go. So, I am enjoying peace and quiet. I do miss the girls though. Megan and I have been having some real girl talk lately. She is growing up so fast, in ways I didn't imagine would happen yet. Already a first crush! I swear I won't mention "his" name but I can tell you what we call the sickness, "brain PAULSY". Sorry, Megan- I couldn't resist telling about your new diagnosis.

Twylia told me some really funny stories about my hallucinations on Monday. Apparently I was REALLY out of it. Between the pig pictures I saw on the wall and my phantom magazine that disappeared, I think I really owe her for all she put up with. I don't know how she managed to get me home. Scott said I was so out of it, he would occasionally come in the bedroom and poke me to make sure I was still alive.

Thanks again for all the prayers! And the meals! A special thanks goes out to the Haertlings- Amy, you outdid yourself! Thanks so much!

Love,
Michele;

Up...barely

Well, I'm out of bed, I guess that's progress. Still not able to work. Here's what happened Monday. Twylia, my good friend, took me to chemo. This was a blessing that she took me. She is also a nurse. I needed her. I got sick about 3/4 of the way thru chemo. I was vomiting, felt sicker than I had ever felt since this all started, I basically thought this round was going to do me in. So they gave me Ativan and Phenegran. I have never had this as a combo. So I started hallucinating. And getting upset b/c I was talking to all these people and then they would disappear. Twylia kept me calm but I didn't understand what was happening. So finally at 4:00, after spending nearly 7 hours in the chemo room, I was whisked home to bed, where I stayed for 2 days.
I'm so glad I got to spend Thanksgiving with my family last week. I felt great and we all had a good visit. I have decided I am not taking chemo Christmas week, I am delaying it a week. Which means I'll be hooked up New Years Eve, so I won't be ringing in the new year. Oh well.
I'll post more later; I am just so weak. Thanks for the prayers.
Michele;

very sick

Too sick to talk. Round 6 has knocked me over. Please pray. This is bad.
Michele;

Native American Week??!?

I had a BIG foggy moment last night so I thought I would share it so you can have a Thanksgiving laugh. I went to my friend Pam's house last night and her daughter showed me an Indian dress she made at preschool. I actually said, "what is it, Native American week or something". Pam said "well it is Thanksgiving!" I was mortified! Some days I feel like I'm really losing my mind!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Love,
Michele;

Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot Pie!!!

Today is Day 7 of Round 5 and I still have not completely bounced back. I am still very tired. I am sure hoping to feel my best over Thanksgiving. I woke up Friday after spending 14 hours in bed and I was so weak, I thought my heart was too tired to beat. I asked Scott to call Dr. Lilly's office and ask if the iv's could be brought to me. So OptionCare came to the house and I got my iv's in the comfort of my own home. I knew I was too weak to sit in the chemo room for 4 hours, which is how long it takes to get 2 bags of fluids. Plus, I didn't have to get a lecture about how much weight I've lost since Monday. 7lb in 5 days. Yikes. Dr. Lilly would freak!
Today I worked on getting my Christmas cards ordered. It looks like I'm not going to make my Thanksgiving deadline this year. If you've ever received a card/Christmas letter from me during the holidays, you know I like to have them in your mailbox by Thanksgiving weekend. My sister Linda and I have a friendly competition every year to see who can get their letter out the fastest. Not going to happen this year. While I'm on that subject- If you think there's a chance I don't have your address, please email it to me at mpeters6@charter.net. I would love to send everyone a card this year.
Do you know the children's book "Just in Case You Ever Wonder" by Max Lucado? Well, I have my own list. So just in case you've ever wondered, I'll tell you now:
1.Chemo fatigue is like no other fatigue in the world. It's indescribable. I can't believe I ever uttered the words "I'm tired" pre-chemo. I try to imagine that many great people in our history have suffered worse than me. Today I tried to imagine how tired Jesus was carrying that cross but...I'm still tired.
2.Chemo may not burn on the way in but it sure does burn on the way out. 'nuff said.
3.I think...I stink. But I'm not sure. Emily told me this week I smelled weird, like an onion.
4.It really is possible to cringe in pain from touching seemingly innocent objects, like doorknobs, silverware and faucets.
5.Waitresses really think you're weird when you order a drink without ice.
6.It IS weird to drink without ice.

I keep forgetting to mention how WONDERFUL all the meals have been! We were excited this week to get another one of Kim Price's homemade chicken pot pies. YUM! Do you remember the chicken pot pie episode from "Just Shoot Me" years ago. Scott and I were chanting it Friday night. The girls have tried so many new foods. In the past, they didn't like to try new things but now they dig right in! We are so fortunate to have so many people helping us out. Our church family at St. Vincent's has been amazing. I could never thank you enough for all you've done.
Keep in touch and have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Love,
Michele;

Perked Up

Ok, sorry about that last post. My friend John emailed me some funny videos and I have perked up in the past hour or so. Thanks John- and enjoy your vacation.
Michele;

Part 2 Pity Party Extended

My pity party has been extended. I am now serving cheese with my whine, if you would like to join me. I forgot to take my happy pill yesterday and I guess it's catching up with me. I am so tired and my hands hurt so bad.
Need some cheering up.
Michele;

Pity Party

Round 5 went ok, I'm just tired and my brain is really really foggy today. I am in the middle of a pity party right now, Oprah is showing home makeovers and I wish that's all I had to worry about. Scott just came home and said our health insurance premiums have shot up several hunded dollars. All my fault. Ok, I'm going to have to change the channel, some woman just showed us a bed she hand-carved for her husband. I don't even have the energy to get out of bed, let alone carve one by hand.
Michele;

Mission From God

Just wanted to mention that Port Chop has settled down and is no longer bothering me. I guess he was just cranky.
I have decided to write a book called "The Lazy Mom's Guide to Raising Children". I have discovered several techniques for spending "quality" time with my children, without leaving the couch. Emily and I invented a game called "Around the World". We sit on the couch, I "drive" us all over the world, and when we get to our destination, she hops off the couch and pretends to be there. I sit in the car and watch. Last week, I took things even further and thought, how can I play while actually laying on the couch (I was too tired to sit up). So I said OK, Emily- I'm the baby, you be my mommy. We got about 20 min entertainment out of that. She fed me, changed my diaper, burped me. She thought it was hilarious! Amy Hume, I challenge you to top that one.
It's my tradition every year to buy Christmas ornaments that reflect the year's events. For example, when Megan joined the swim team, I bought her a swim ornament. Scott always gets a fishing ornament and Emily always gets a pig ornament. If we travel, we buy a souvenir ornament. So my point is- where am I going to find an ornament that reflects my year. Will it be a giant colon, a pork chop, or how about some butt cheeks (Megan likes to giggle about my "butt cancer").
The main reason I'm posting tonight is to tell you about something that happened today that was really incredible. God had a mission for me today and believe it or not, the mission was "go to the mall". I don't know why I went, I didn't even want to go, but I knew I needed to. So when I got there, I saw a friend in the mall having what appeared to be a serious conversation with someone. Her friend had just told her she had just been diagnosed with colon cancer. When I walked up, she introduced me and you can imagine what it was like to meet someone else who is close to my age with colon cancer and lives 5 minutes away. She is just 2 weeks post-op and she said she had no idea why she went to the mall either. We are both Stage III. We talked for a really long time. What an amazing experience for the both of us.
Thanks for listening.
Love,
Michele;

Flippin' over, Flippin' out

I am feeling great this week! I did have a slight scare Friday night. I ran a fever but had no other symptoms. These things always happen on the weekend. Dr. Lilly was on a plane somewhere. He was able to call in a prescription for an antibiotic, so Scott made a late night run to Walgreens. Scott has a great idea. He thinks all cancer patients need one of those air tubes, like you see at the bank drive-thru so that when we need something, the pharmacy can just send it in the tube and he won't have to go to Walgreens in the wee hours of the night. Good idea. So today, Port Chop was giving me all sorts of pain. It feels like I'm being pinched and it hurts. I called my surgeon and the nurse wasn't too worried, although the fever could be related. If this thing gets infected, I will fall to pieces. I can't go thru another port placement. She said Very rarely (I hate the term "very rarely" b/c when they say that, you can darn well guarantee it's going to happen) a port will flip. And if that happens, they can try to manually flip it back. Kinda like cookin' a pork chop...while you're at it, stick an apple in my mouth and hang me over the pit.
Today at work, I show up for a visit at a house. I walk in and the baby is laying on the couch, covered with a rash from head to toe. The nurse says yeah, he has a virus, he's been in the hospital, he still has a fever. I flipped out. I couldn't make it out the door fast enough. I was so mad! Can you think of any words more scary to a cancer patient than rash, virus, hospital and fever??? I just wanted to say Hey, while I'm here soaking up infected air, you want me to drink from his bottle too??? How about a kiss for the platelet-deprived lady???
OK, I'm done venting. Thanks for listening!
Michele;

Back from Chemoville

I'm back from my trip to Chemoville. I've decided that getting chemo is like taking a trip. I don't know how many days I'll be "gone". In my last post, I mentioned how I don't take calls on chemo day. That's b/c there's no cell phone signal to my tower (aka my brain). If you do manage to talk to me while I'm tripping, I may sound fuzzy b/c the "signal" is weak. Dr. Lilly's nurse practitioner did confirm for me that "chemo brain" is legitimate. I will say Round 4 has been the easiest so far. Dr. Lilly cut the Decadron to less than half and gave me a shot of something else. It must have worked b/c Monday was the only day I felt psychotic.
I ended up staying home last night. I was so tired, I knew I didn't have the energy to trick-or-treat with the girls. So Scott and his mom took them and they had a good time. I laid on the couch and watched a documentary about Amityville Horror; I decided I could write my own documentary called Cancerville Horror. Think of the similiarities- I've been slashed open twice, body parts removed, foreign objects put in, drugs and more drugs, hallucinations, screaming fits, hey this really has the makings for a movie...
One last thing, my platelets were down to 78. 50 is the cutoff but Dr. Lilly doesn't think they will drop lower than that. In other words, he doesn't foresee chemo being delayed. But then again, he is an eternal optimist. He always sees the bright side of everything. I am so grateful for him. No matter what my side effects are, he is ready to try something new to help alleviate them.
Ok, gotta go get a Neulasta shot to help build those platelets. Thanks for all the prayers. I know I am only surviving by the Grace of God and all of you!!!
Oh, just a couple more things. If you could just stop what you are doing right now and say a prayer for a little boy named Matthew, that would be much appreciated. He is a little guy who just turned 1 and he is very very sick. He is undiagnosed at this point, but we know he desperately needs prayers. He has a website on www.caringbridge.org/visit/mattheweakins
Also, I wanted to tell you that Shawndra Turner is going to be in the audience at the Oprah show on November 8th. We are all hoping she will get a chance to talk to Oprah while she's there. Numerous people are emailing the Oprah show asking them to talk to her. This is Shawndra's dream- to be a guest on Oprah. Good luck Shawndra!
Love,
Michele;

Round 4

First, I need to apologize to those who called me on chemo day to check on me. I have not returned your calls. I did not fare so well Monday after I came home from Round 4. I was a basket case. Very emotional and very sick. Luckily today I felt well enough to go to work. However, my hands are hurting so bad, this is the first typing I have done. My father-in-law bought me some heat wraps for hands. This helped a lot. Dr. Lilly continues to tweak my meds to help alleviate as many side effects as possible.
This is a short post. I am suddenly not feeling well.
Michele

Burgers and Stars

They always say you do your best thinking on the throne. I guess that goes for Emily too. She just informed me we need "care and food". Apparently, she thinks people stopped caring about us this week b/c no one has brought food. I tried to explain that everyone does still care...I feel good this week...I am able to cook, but she moved on to the air freshener, so subject closed. Emily has enjoyed the meals more than anyone. Which reminds me I forgot to tell part 2 of the White Castle saga. Uncle Ray and Aunt Donna were in town for a few hours Sunday so we all went to Cracker Barrel for brunch. Uncle Ray had called Emily and told her he would take her to White Castle. We didn't think much of it. Mistake #1. Emily eats a huge breakfast at Cracker Barrel; as we are getting ready to leave, she says OK, Uncle Ray, I'm ready to go to White Castle. She would NOT take "no" for an answer. So there they went, off to White Castle for fries and burgers. I am not kidding.
I wanted to mention that my mammogram came back normal. Also, Port Chop got head-butted this week. I saw stars. It was my fault. I had been letting my kids at work sit on my lap. Notice the word "had", as in past tense.
I want to welcome the Reichert's to my blog. Vicky, I am so proud of you for learning to use the computer. Way to go! I told Becky to tell you to email me, but she said you haven't gotten that far yet.
I am dreading Round #4 worse than any so far. It's really hard for me to be too sick to work or take care of the girls. I am bummed out that Halloween is Wednesday b/c that is the day I always feel my worst. I want to feel well enough to take the girls out.
Ok, Emily is ready for bed, so I gotta go.
Thanks for listening.
Love,
Michele;

"DON'T PUT THAT ON YOUR BLOG!"

I have been feeling really good the last couple of days. My hands are still bothering me but I am learning to adapt. Every time they start hurting, I start searching for heat. I'm not picky, as long as it's hot. The blow dryer works great, if I'm home. And of course, there's always Pinky. I took her to work with me today. I have a part time consulting job, where I work in an office a few hours a week. Some of my coworkers got to personally meet her today. Emily was disappointed I took her to work without the diaper. I do have my limits.
I forgot to mention I got my mammogram. It was so easy. The lady felt sorry for me b/c I wasn't feeling good. She had me out of there in 15 minutes. She was so nice to me. She said women come in there bawling about being scared of the mammogram, I said it's nothing compared to having your colon ripped out. She agreed. My pain tolerance has really improved. Having said that, I will say the bone pain has set in from the Neulasta shot. Dr. Lilly told me to expect it and to take 3x the legal limit of Ibuprofen. I thought I was superhuman b/c I didn't have pain but last night it started. If you've ever been pregnant, remember how your hips feel during the 9th month, that's what it feels like.
There's a new phenomenon called "Don't Put That in Your Blog". People will tell me something personal and then say "Don't put that in your blog". I promise I will not reveal your deepest, darkest secrets to the world. I am wondering if people are telling me their secrets b/c they figure, hey she'll be gone in 6 months anyway; not really, I'm just kidding. Speaking of prognosis, a lot of people ask what my prognosis is. So I will add that to the FAQ list. Dr. Lilly says 85%. I don't like numbers (sorry to my math teacher friends) but he volunteered the info. So, I really do think I will beat this. In the beginning I was worried but not so much anymore. I think my optimism comes from my friends at the Colon Club. They are so wonderful. When you hear the term Colon Club, are you like me, imagining a bunch of sick people sitting in a treehouse talking about cancer, it's not like that but the image does come to my head. It's actually an online thing but everytime I log on, I feel like I'm climbing a ladder up the tree.
Have a great week.
Michele;

Boost-Induced

I thought everyone would enjoy a pic of Pinky, the water baby. Whenever my hands start to hurt, I yell Someone fill up Pinky!
It took 7 days for me to recover from this round. Today is the first day I feel back to normal (keeping in mind, that's a "new normal"). I am finally feeling like I have my strength back. I have intermittent numbness and poor muscle control in my face, which means when I smile, sometimes my smile stays a little longer than it should, this completely changes the dynamics of a conversation. Try it yourself, smile at someone and leave the smile on your face just a few seconds longer. You suddenly look like a total smart-aleck. Can you tell I have a degree in Communication Disorders??? Speaking of that, I need a little help from my speech path friends. When my emotions get the best of me, sometimes I have to work really hard to fight back the tears. So I decided to start reciting something really boring in my head, like Brown's Stages of Language Development. Feel free to provide me with the most boring topic we learned in grad school. Robin, you were always a wealth of knowledge and trivia, I'm sure you remember them all, haha.
You will be surprised to know what always brings tears to my eyes. I can't call this a Theory, b/c I haven't figured out the "why" of it. I bought a pack of Boost nutritional supplements and every time I drink one, I hit at least a 1-2 on the tear scale. I call it Boost-Induced Tears. I feel so pathetic when I drink them, it makes me feel old. So imagine my emotions when the American Cancer Society showed up at the chemo room Monday and gave me a free case of Boost. I almost laughed at the irony of it. The lady was so excited to offer it to me, she thought she was really doing me a favor, she said I am eligible for a free case every month!
Keep in touch, I love to hear from you.
Michele;
P.S. Happy Birthday to Megan, who turns 9 on Monday and Happy Birthday to my awesome mother-in-law who turns @# today!

It's a (Water) Girl!

Today was not a good day. I managed to crawl out of bed and Scott took me to the Cancer Center. I needed iv's, I felt like a Lay's Barbeque Chip this time. My face even looked barbequed. I spent 6 hours up there sleeping off lots of Ativan. Apparently, here is what is happening. I get the Decadron for nausea, it lasts for 5 days but it's a steroid, so Dr. Lilly thinks that is what is causing the anxiety attacks. So he is going to stop giving it to me and he told me to up my appetite med b/c it also helps with nausea. We'll see.
On the bright side, when I came home, my newly hired housecleaner was just finishing up. Yeah! I have never had a housecleaner before. I already love it. Not an ounce of guilt. Megan says I need to hire someone to type my blog. I have had hand shaking and even more neuropathy in my hands. It is so painful, a 7 on the pain scale, which correlated with a 7 on the tear scale. My hands feel like millions of needle pricks. It comes and goes. My father-in-law suggested a heating pad and it cured it for awhile. Today I layed around clinging to a hot water bottle. Emily and I pretended it was a newborn baby. She even changed the diaper and I fed it. I think we forgot to name it. The bottle is pink, so I guess it's a girl.
I do have a new Theory of Pathetic-ness. Waking up this morning with a chemo bag strapped on, started my period with a vengence, AND had diarrhea. If you can top that, please feel free to share your story.
Thanks for listening,
Michele;

Round 3

This is short. I feel yucky. The neuropathy has hit hard, it is painful to touch anything, even typing hurts. Not just cold things. I have the shakes real bad too. Having trouble typing. Bad news was, my platelet count barely passed. Last time it was 234. This time it was 124. 100 is passing. So I was close. I have to get a Neulasta shot Wed to bring the count up. If it goes below 100 next time, I can't get chemo, and this mess will drag on even longer. Please please pray my count goes up. I will be devastated if this gets delayed. But the scariest part of having low counts is how susceptible I am to illness. I could catch a bug and get really sick. Also, please pray for the girls. They are having a hard time. They have very different ways of dealing with things.
Gotta go, very tired.
Michele;

Ready for Round 3; Giraffe not so lucky

What a great weekend!!! I felt so good, I told Scott I think I feel better than I have in a year. I wonder if maybe I haven't felt good for a long time. I know I haven't been myself for quite some time. I am looking back, wondering how long I had cancer. I wish I knew the day the first cell popped out. I wonder what I was doing at that moment. I would never in a million years be the person who says I'm glad I got cancer. But I will say I am a much better mom lately. I want to spend every moment with the girls and we have been having so much fun lately. This weekend was such a fantastic time with them. We played and danced and just hung out together. Emily is having really bad separation anxiety. She has to be in the same room with me, she doesn't want me to leave her. She has had a really rough week.
On a lighter note, "Bust your bubble" has now moved to a variety of contexts. Tonight, I took Emily to the store and we're standing in the orange juice aisle, she says Mommy I hate to bust your bubble but I don't like pulp". Some lady was cracking up. Emily took a stuffed giraffe, Jeffrey, to Walmart with us. Jeffrey was acting up really bad, not a big deal, she was trying to control him. She was wound up. We get to the meat dept, she says Mom, we're having giraffe meat tonight. So then we're standing at the checkout, all of a sudden I look down and Emily is in the floor doing CPR on Jeffrey! I am not kidding. You've not seen anything until you've seen chest compressions performed on a giraffe. Sadly, according to Emily, Jeffrey died right there in Walmart.

So tomorrow (Monday) is Round 3. This is my first chemo without my Mom. She went home last weekend. Scott's parents are taking me. I'm taking my prayer shawl with me for 2 reasons. First, I hope it brings me blessings. Also, it is so cold in the chemo room, you could hang meat in there. Maybe I'll take Jeffrey...
Keep in touch,
Michele;

Bust My Bubble

First of all, I am not posting for the sake of complaining. It's more like I'm shaking my head, sighing...
Today, I saw the surgeon for Port Chop's follow-up. Other than a stitch that popped through the skin, it looked fine. I told him the nurses have complained a lot about the port, to which he said Nurses complain about everything. Aargh. I also told him about the intermittent bulging of the veins in my hand and heaviness in my arm, he didn't know about that either. So, I wondered why I even sat there for an hour waiting on him to tell me everything is fine. So then I walked down the hall to schedule my mammogram. There was a communication gap, the secretary thought I wanted it today. Yeah, I'm going to walk in off the street and demand an immediate boob-smashing. Oh, and they said NO to the ultrasound, looks like it will be done the regular ole' way. The secretary said, without even knowing where Port Chop lives, Oh it won't be in the way. THEN she got huffy b/c she wanted me to come next Wednesday and I said Can't do that, I'll be hooked up to the chemo pump. More aaargh. Ok, I'm done venting.
I did think of more ways cancer changes things, I'll pick up where I left off.
6. I can completely rationalize my shopping trips. As in, Sure I can buy that bag of chocolate, I DESERVE it... I really really need that pair of pants to help me get through chemo...I'll be SO comfortable in that outfit...it goes on and on.
7. The kids yell "MOM, CANCER!!!" every time they hear the word cancer on tv.
8. You start to play the mental cancer card game. As in, HEY...You can't cut me off in traffic, I have cancer!!!
9. Hair falling out, brown patches on the skin, lips cracked, and chemo bag strapped on, People will always say "Well, you look good".

I have gotten some of the nicest gifts this week. I got a prayer shawl yesterday from the ladies of Maple United Methodist Church. They put it on the altar and prayed over it and prayed for me. It is beautiful. I'm getting my hair cut Friday, so I'll post a pic of me with the shawl. I love wearing it. My Aunt Wanda made me another hat and a scarf hat, which is really great. Last night, I went to see a little boy for speech. His family is so nice and they have always been grateful for how I have helped him. The mom gave me a gift. I opened it and it was a Willow Tree. She said It's the Healing Angel. I thought, How sweet, she thinks I am healing her son. Then I realized OH, it's for my own healing. Now, that was a classic foggy moment.

Gotta go. Emily needs me. Her new phrase is "I hate to bust your bubble". She says it anytime she wants something.
Keep in touch.
Love,
Michele;

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Well, this weekend my hair started to fall out. Even when you know it may happen, nothing prepares you for it. I will have to wait and see how much of it falls out. Most of the girls on the Colon Club (of which I am an official member) said they lost half of their hair. Another side effect is the change in the texture. Overnight my hair became dry and coarse.

I have compiled a list of things that change when you have cancer.

1. Naps, free meals and chocolate become guilt-free!

2. "I feel great" translates to "I managed to get out of bed today"

3. Aaahh, the feeling you get when someone of authority says "you need to eat".

4. "Mommy is tired" really works!

5. When I say I have colon cancer, perfect strangers are more than willing to discuss their
own bathroom habits.

If you are a fellow cancer friend, feel free to add to the list.

I also wanted to tell everyone how much it means to me that you read my blog. I never imagined so many people would be interested in what I have to say. I love all the comments too. It always brightens my day. Thanks so much.
Love,
Michele;

Heavy Metal

I am feeling much better! Donna came back to visit this weekend and we're hoping to have a fun day tomorrow. We went out tonight to get pedicures. I chose Chemo Chrome, b/c that's what my mouth feels like. I have a metal taste in my mouth, but yet I have no sense of taste when I eat. Weird.
Just when I thought I hadn't been poked and prodded enough, today I had to go to the gyno. Fun! Since Dr. Uhls is out until December, I had to see a new doctor. I mean "new" literally. She wasn't much older than Megan, and about the same size. So she tells me I need a mammogram. My first thought was "Oh, Port Chop is NOT going to like that". She said they could do an ultrasound instead of the traditional method.
Chemo does really crazy things to your body. Today I picked up a pen and my hand wouldn't work. I couldn't move it. I just stared at it and thought Well, now I know how my stroke patients always felt. Tonight at the grocery store, I forgot about the cold sensitivity in my hands and I picked up a gallon of milk. OUCH. It felt like a hundred needles. My friend Becky has been hanging on to her Michael Jackson glove since the '80's. I think we have finally found a use for it. Maybe she'll let me wear it to the grocery store.
Thanks for listening,
Michele;
P.S. Congratulations to Cathlin and her new baby girl, Ally, born Thursday!

Dark Ages

I feel rotten! Chemo hit me quickly this time. I didn't even work today. The side effects came immediately. Yesterday was a very long day. I spent 6 hours at the Cancer Center. Port Chop caused us some problems. "Green Nurse" (young, inexperienced, name is synonomous with a color), could not get the needle in the port. She tried and tried until I was about to pass out. Then she got "No numbing" nurse (remember her?). She demonstrated to Green nurse how to stabilize the port. Apparently, Port Chop is a floater, he moves around a lot. The whole thing was barbaric. Lots of pushing, poking, etc. It wasn't excruciatingly painful but it makes me sick to be poked and prodded like that. At one point, I told both nurses All I need is a stick in my mouth like they used in the Dark Ages, to complete this picture. They didn't think that was funny.
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. I found a nurse I really liked. She's very "to the point". For example, last time when Pregnant Nurse gave me the steroid in my iv, she said This may cause a little irritation in the rectal area. This time, Favorite Nurse said THIS WILL BURN YOUR BUTT!!! I was really cheered up when the flower shop came to the chemo room and delivered a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Scott.
My sister Linda had her colonoscopy this morning and all was clear! Yeah! 2 more sisters to go, plus my mom.
Thanks for listening. I feel so much better knowing so many people are listening, praying and cheering me on. This is turning out to be a lot harder than I imagined.
Love,
Michele

Round two

Michele got her second round of chemo today and is not feeling so good. It took most of the
day to get her treatment and she is really tired. She will write about it tomorrow I'm sure.

Scott

Lethal Injection

Round 2 tomorrow (Monday). I have been asked several times whether I feel better about going into this treatment, as opposed to how I felt the first time. I would have to say no. Now it's fear of the known, whereas last time it was fear of the unknown. I feel like I'm on death row, awaiting execution by lethal injection. In fact, I'll be executed 12 times in 6 months. I even plan out my last meal. At least I receive my injection in a comfy chair.
Emily turned 5 yesterday. She was so excited about this birthday. Turning 5 was such a big deal to her. Yesterday morning, she told us she feels 5 in her heart. She got some interesting presents. Aunt Jenny even bought her a Barbie dog that poops. It appears that the dog has a healthier colon than me- feed him kibble and he poops quite regularly.
I will write again tomorrow to let you know how it goes. My mom is still here so she is taking me. The recycle guy (I think his name was Charlie) will not be there, he only comes 1xmonth.
Talk soon,
Michele;

Feeling great!

Just wanted to say I feel great this week! I did have to go back and get more iv's Monday, Dr. Lilly said I looked like a potato chip, I was dried out. It was a very busy day in the chemo room. There was an old guy there, he talked to me for 3 hours. I guess you could say he was environmentally conscious- he recycled the same stories over and over. Then when I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, he turned to the guy on the other side and started all over again.
So anyway, I'm enjoying how good I feel this week.
Talk later,
Michele; (I will sign off with a semi-colon, since that's what I have now, a semi-colon)

I'm OK

Whew! I feel much better. Turns out I had PMS- I wasn't depressed after all, haha. Once again, my family dropped everything and raced over here to make sure I was ok. I'm still weak but I'm trying to eat, well they are practically force feeding me, but my mood is better. I got a visit from Di A. Ria, she's so rude, she came a' knockin' at 5:30 this morning, woke me right up!
So now I know what to expect, Day 5 & 6 were the hardest for me. I was in bed for 2 days. The girls tried to cheer me up. Emily crawled in bed with me and we sang the old HeeHaw song, Gloom, despair, agony on me...This brought some much needed laughter.
So, anyway, my sister Donna said I better send an update, letting everyone know I'm ok. She's my oldest sister, always has been the one to boss me around, haha; she's the food police too, she keeps telling me to eat, I know none of you out there reading this have ever been bossed by Donna, haha.
I also wanted to mention- My friend Pam A. called me the other day, happy to report she found a great bumper sticker for me. It said "I'm only speeding because I need to poop!" We got a good laugh over that one. Thanks, Pam for calling that one in.
Thanks for the prayers!!!
Michele

Major Setback

Yesterday morning, I woke up and realized fatigue had set in. Even though it was tough, I was able to work through it. This morning was a different story. I was so incredibly weak, I could barely walk. I stepped on the scale and was horrified to realize I had lost 6lb since Monday. I crawled back in bed and realized depression had also set in. I felt like I had fallen into a deep hole. I have never in my life felt this before. It was the darkest despair. I called Scott and he rushed home. He called the hospital and within 20 min I was in the chemo room, hooked up to iv's. Thank God for Southeast Hospital. We walked right in, Dr. Lilly rushed in, knelt down beside me and told me he was going to help me get through this. So, now I'm going to take several medicines to help with anxiety, depression and appetite. I feel very hopeless right now. I don't think I have the strength to get through this. I told Scott I'm only doing this for the girls, b/c I know they need a mother.
I can't say anymore, I am a complete mess right now.
Please pray.
Michele

Manhole covers and recliners

Let me start by saying I have been really lucky so far that the chemo has not greatly affected me. So, please don't think I have forgotten to count my blessings. Having said that, I can now tell you it has been a not-so-good day for me- and it's only noon.
I have been so emotional today. I went to work and hit a 1-2 on the tear scale between each home visit. While sitting in one house, my stomach is telling me the dreaded gastro side effect is coming. I panic and leave, but so far it hasn't hit. Anyway, I had to go to OptionCare to get Percy unhooked. I pull up in the parking lot and immediately hit a 7. Even though I wanted to completely sever the relationship between Port Chop and Percy, I was also scared. After 10 minutes, I realize I am going to have to go in. So I walk in and of course, I get the stares b/c a 7 on the scale is enough to qualify for Oprah's "ugly cry".
Let me stop right here and tell you something. After spending time in the chemo room at Southeast, and the procedure room at OptionCare, I have discovered a new Theory of Pain, never before discovered. I could qualify for a Nobel prize for this one. Here it is- If a nurse takes you in a room and there is a nice, luxurious, cozy, leather recliner- RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. You are about to be tortured beyond belief...
So, it's time to remove the giant needle. Did I tell you it has a manhole cover over it? Have you ever tried to remove a manhole cover??? It ain't easy. Lots of tugging and pulling. I thought for a minute, maybe this nurse is STANDING on the manhole cover trying to remove it. That's what you call "chair through the wall" moment, when you are pushing so hard against the nice, cozy recliner, you are sure it's going through the wall.
So anyway, I am home now. I wish I could nap but the medicine juices me up. Did I mention the name of this drug. Please don't think this is a joke, or that I'm being obscene but it's called "5FU". Go figure...
Michele

Numbing cream(no) Bigger Needle(yes)

So far, so good! I have had the most minimal side effects so far. Everything went well, with one exception. My nurse said Numbing cream? Nah, you don't need that...
Port Chop is still medium rare (raw, red and tender) so it was painful to have the special needle inserted. Unfortunately, my incision lies right on top of point of entry, so the first stick didn't work. The nurse yells Hey I need a bigger needle over here! I almost came unglued. So then she had to put in the bigger needle, there was a lot of pushing, poking and prodding. Blood was spurting out. I almost passed out. The nurse seemed a little surprised that the incision lies over the point of entry, but at least next time they will be prepared, and Port Chop will be medium well done.
Chemo on weekends is not going to happen, for a variety of reasons. I'll try to explain. While I'm at Southeast, I get a cocktail of 3 drugs for 2 hours. Then I use a pump from OptionCare that will deliver 1 of the meds for 46 more hours. Don't take offense if you are reading this and you work for OptionCare. I'm not bashing them. But they don't do weekends, unless there is a problem. They weren't real accomodating. I'm not too disappointed anyway. Who wants to spend their weekends hooked up? It would be better to do it while the girls are in school and I can rest better. Speaking of hooked up, this thing is heavy. It doesn't work well as a fanny pack. Right now, I am wearing it like a purse across my neck. Hence, we have chosen the name Percy. Percy wouldn't do well at church anyway b/c he is noisy. Every 2 minutes he reminds me he's still there by making a clicking/whirring noise.
About the side effects: So far I feel fine. Remember when I said I couldn't drink cold beverages. Well, our tap water is too cold. I took a drink when I came home and realized a cactus had sprouted in my throat! Ouch! So then I tried a handful of cashews and I was immediately taken back to the 80's when pop rocks were the rage. My jaw was full of pop rocks! Later, with chemo not on my mind, I find myself fixing a bowl of shredded wheat and milk. Then I thought OMG, I can't eat this! Shredded wheat and cold milk- I might as well swallow knives in the circus!
Thanks for listening!
Keep in touch!
Michele

Amazing "Port Chop"

Well, tomorrow is the big day. I have been somewhat emotional today. I was fighting a 1-2 on the tear scale at church this morning. Really, did they have to pick Amazing Grace as the opening hymn, when they must know that I always sang that to my girls? Yesterday I went to a baby shower and today I went to a bridal shower. I found myself longing for those fun, carefree days when life was exciting and new.
"Port Chop" is giving me no trouble. So far, he is very well-behaved. He seems to be enjoying his new home in my artery. My friend Shawna said he will continue to burrow himself in, until eventually he won't look so much like a big bump. My sister's friend, Kim, came up with the perfect name. It incorporates my insane desire for pork, along with all the chopping my surgeon has done. By the way, I forgot to mention just how much I ate at the fair. We went with our friends, Danny and Becky. The hospital had called and said I couldn't eat past 7:00. We got to the fair at 6:20. The countdown was on! I ate a pork steak sandwich (no surprise), fried tators, a lemon shakeup and a funnel cake, in record time!
Scott and I had a good laugh this weekend. For years, we have always joked that we drive vehicles until the wheels fall off. I bought a new Honda Civic about 3 months ago. Saturday I heard on the news there was a recall on my car b/c the wheels could fall off!
Gotta go. Still have things to do. I did manage to clean out my closet this weekend. I have to stay busy.
Michele

Name That Port

The surgery went well today. Other than having to wait FOREVER, it was easy. I went to sleep telling stories and woke up cracking jokes. I have no pain right now, just a little arm soreness. I asked if it were possible to place the port on my right side. I drive so much at work, I was afraid the seatbelt would be a killer. They usually do them on the nondominant side but they agreed maybe the right would be better, so that's what they did. I was naive enough to think I could hide the surgery from Emily. Didn't work. When she got home from school, I showed her the bandage, explained that I went to the doctor and now I have a booboo. She leans in close to me, wrinkles her little nose and says YOU SMELL LIKE THE HOSPITAL!!! MOMMY, YOU WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, DIDN'T YOU!!! That's a sensory kid for ya', she doesn't miss a thing! So again I thought I could brush it off with "The hospital? Are you sure?", so she says very seriously "Mommy, SMELL YOURSELF."
Ok, I plan on naming all of these devices I will be hooked up to. So right now I'm trying to generate a name for the port. Maybe a famous port? Any suggestions?
I have been told some of you are having trouble posting comments. Remember, click on the word "comment" (NOT the envelope), then type inside the box that pops up, then choose the anonymous option. Just don't forget to sign your name in the box.
Thanks for the prayers, I really am pain-free!
Love,
Michele

There's nothing normal about this...

We continue to try to adjust to our "new normal". That's what cancer patients call their new life. Some days are better than others. Scott deals with things differently than I do because a) he is a man and b)because he is the spouse, not the patient. The kids are doing great though. They are slowly getting their minds on other things. For example, Megan told me tonight, and this is a quote, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried, "Mom, I think I have a pretty good idea what your reproductive organs look like". This stopped me in my tracks. I couldn't even utter a "why", of course that wasn't necessary b/c she was more than happy to tell me. She said "I bet they are old and dusty and full of cobwebs and spiders b/c you haven't had a baby in so long". How could I respond to that!
Emily spends her days talking about animals. Today her preschool went to the fair. She came home off the bus with an imaginary pig she got at the fair. She was carrying it on an imaginary leash. It was a boy and it was pink. I gushed over him, oh he's so cute and well-behaved, etc. She walked it around for a long time. About this time, I noticed she had snuck some toys to school in her pocket, which is against the rules. So I reprimanded her. She said Mom, why are you mad about taking the toys to school but you don't mind me bringing home a pig. Again, how do I respond...
Anyway, about me. I feel great! I continue to have weird changes in my food likes and dislikes. You probably know, I'm not a big meat eater but I can't stop craving pulled pork. I eat it whenever I can. It's crazy! And of course, I think about bread all the time. I drove by Rhodes last week and I swear the sign said "Now Hiring Croissants". I drove back by and they had changed it to "hiring overnights". I'm sure this isn't related to the fuzzy thoughts I've been having...
Ok, direct your prayers this way: I will have minimal pain with the surgery, chemo will go well and the exterminator will come and rid my organs of spiders...just kidding.
Talk later,
Michele

Warm fuzzy thoughts

One more week until chemo. I am trying to get some things done but it's overwhelming. I am compiling a list of things I know I will need to have handy (like lots of warm clothes). I am really worried about being cold since I am already cold-natured. And as luck would have it, Emily's birthday falls on my first weekend chemo treatment (Sept 29). So I need her presents bought, etc. When you're 5, being sick is no excuse for not getting presents. Thank goodness for online shopping. I am frustrated at my continued fuzziness in the brain. I don't know if it's stress, worry or what, but I still don't feel right in the head. I can't keep things straight, I say strange things sometimes or my thoughts just trail off into neverland. When I see someone I know, it takes a few seconds to register who it is and then I have to ask myself "do they know about the cancer". I think I have a foolproof way of deciding whether someone knows about the cancer. If "how are you" includes a pat on the arm, then they know. If I don't get the pat, they're clueless. I asked Dr. Lilly if the cancer could have gone to the brain, he said that would be highly unlikely, to which I thought "this whole experience is highly unlikely". Anyway, I guess I am telling you that if you see me out or I appear rude, please excuse my behavior.
Scott found my New Year's Resolutions this weekend. The list included: Lose weight, Eat Better, and Scrapbook more. Well, having my colon ripped out has resulted in weight loss and eating better and I have been scrapbooking while recovering from surgery. So there you go, for the first time in my life, I achieved my resolutions. Be careful what you wish for!
By the way, there's a seminar at the Osage center about surgical weight loss, I think I'm going to show up and tell them how I lost weight surgically. Who needs the Lapband system when you can get the "Crapband".
Keep in touch.
Michele

TGIF

I survived my first week back at work and boy, am I tired! As you know, I work on the road. After getting tailgated twice today, I have decided I need a bumper sticker that says "Don't Tailgate Me. I have colon cancer and I've had enough people on my rear already!".

The general consensus has been that I should go to the fair. If anyone happens to be at the pet parade Sunday, look for us. We are taking Rain in full costume. If you've never been to the pet parade, it's really a cute little show. It starts at 1:00. Rain will be showcasing himself as the "World's Smartest Dog", complete with cap, gown and diploma.

Scott has been so full of compliments since all this started. This morning, he told me I'm more reliable than a Chevy. Apparently, one of his work trucks went in the shop the same day I had surgery and here I am working and the truck is still in the shop!

OK, everyone have a great weekend and maybe I'll see you at the fair! I'll be lurking around near the food!

Love,
Michele
P.S. Don't forget to sign your comments!!! I can't always distinguish your unique sense of humor!haha

GOOD NEWS!!!

PET SCANS WERE CLEAR!!!
Dr. Lilly said I had the most boring PET scans, no voracious tumors that he can melt away; I'm not kidding, that's what he said.
So here's the plan: The port surgery will be Sept 14th, chemo starts on the 17th.
As most of you know, the fair is next week. We had made plans to go to the fair concert on the 13th. There seems to be something inherently wrong with going to the fair the night before a surgery, no matter how minor the procedure. It seems somewhat "redneckish" as in "Bubba, load em up, I'm goin' to the fair 'fore they cut me open!" And then of course, when that guy in surgery asks what I had to eat, I'll have to say pulled pork, cheesecake on a stick, fried taters...By the way, I do have my appetite back, can you tell.
Scott says he is the luckiest man alive. Now his wife will have an anchor AND a port.
Thanks for all the prayers, they must be working- I went back to work this week and I feel great!!!
Love,
Michele

Almost Like a Song

Hello. I will start by saying thanks for all the prayers. I had a realization last week just how far my story has reached. I went to the dentist. This is something that has to be done before chemo starts, to make sure you don't have mouth rot or something of the sort. So, I had to tell the dental hygienist my story. I had never met her before. As she starts cleaning my teeth, she says "I think I have been praying for you." She had heard my story from a friend!
Physically, I am feeling good. I am going back to work this week, for a few hours a day. Emotionally, I am up and down. I can hit a 1 or 2 on the cry scale, without warning. Picture this, I am cutting up a watermelon (another food I can't live without these days), Ronnie Milsap is on tv singing "It was almost like a song" and I hit a 1. Go figure.
Every time I see a doctor, nurse, etc there are 3 questions I always get asked. Do you smoke, do you drink, are you diabetic. I always say no, no, no. This week, Dr. Lilly asked me again. Scott said jokingly, I could never get her to drink. Dr. Lilly actually said I would do better with chemo if I was a heavy drinker!!! He said his alcoholic patients have less nausea and vomiting with chemo!!! Unfortunately, I think it's too late to start, so don't anyone be bringing over any Jack Daniels, haha.
By the way, scroll down to the bottom of this screen, there is a colossal size pic of Scott and me in Vegas. And I was drinking!!!
Keep in touch.
Michele

Oncology appt

Saw the oncologist this morning. This guy is amazing. My parents were impressed when they met him while I was in the hospital and today, Scott was very impressed too. He spent an HOUR with us. He is concerned that I am not eating, he wanted to know if I get full fast or I just don't want to eat. It's a little of both. He may have to give me meds to stimulate appetite. Never in a million years would I have thought I would have this problem. It feels like a feeding aversion, which is ironic, since that is what I specialize in as a speech path. PET scans are scheduled for Tuesday, which was supposed to be the day I went back to work. I am waiting on McGinty's office to call me to schedule the port surgery. Anyway, Dr. Lilly talked a lot about the side effects of the chemo. I am concerned about the likelihood I will have diarrhea. My job is certainly not conducive to having this problem. Also, I will have numbness, tingling and extreme sensitivity to my hands, feet and throat. I will not be able to touch anything cold or drink anything cold. If the numbness in the feet gets too bad, it can affect my walking and driving. Again, not conducive to my job. And of course, the side effects don't go away when they turn the medicine off; with each treatment, they will last longer and longer, until it gets to the point they don't go away between treatments. Oh, the good news is- I can have sugar. He said cancer will feed off anything and if there's no sugar, it will feed off muscle or whatever else it can find. So bring on the dessert! That's a relief, since I've been stealing Megan's chocolate while she's at school. After my initial chemo treatment, I will eventually start taking the treatments over the weekend. I will go in on Friday, they will hook me up via the port in my clavicle, I will go home and it will get turned off 48 hours later. Maybe I already told you that. Anyway, I will wear a fanny pack (whoo hoo, that's a fashion statement) and I can be at home or wherever I want to be.
I hope and pray you never need an oncologist, but if you do, Dr. Lilly is just fantastic. Scott summed it up by saying he's brilliant but quirky, that's a good description. After the appt, Scott took me to Bella Italia. I haven't been in a restaurant in 8 weeks and have had no alone time with Scott in about that long, so it was nice to go out. Unfortunately, I just couldn't eat. I ordered soup and salad but ate very little. I did eat the bread. For some reason, since this whole ordeal started, bread has been the one thing I do want to eat. And I don't mean that Bunny stuff- I want real bread.
I want to say thanks to everyone who has sent cards. I love mail! My GI doc sent a real nice card with a self-addressed stamped envelope and a note that said pay now, but that's another post...
Love,
Michele

A cure for what ails you...

Are you having trouble with constipation and considering a colonoscopy? Here's what you do- have them send the bill BEFORE the procedure- you will SHIT.

Look Good...Feel Worse

Tonight I went to a program at Southeast Hospital called Look Good...Feel Better, sponsored by the American Cancer Society. It was a beauty seminar for chemo patients. As I walked in, I felt so ridiculous, I couldn't believe I was there. I kept thinking I didn't belong, why am I here- but of course, I did belong. I felt like I was dreaming a bad dream!
4/8 of us were colon cancer patients. Although I probably won't go bald, it looks like my hair will get really thin, that's what the other women said. That's b/c my chemo is different than what breast cancer patients get. So, I will probably get it cut really short, like the other women suggested.
We did get lots of free makeup-the expensive kind. All the beauty companies donate their products. Even though it's a great program and I learned some things, I think I felt worse when I left. Or maybe it was just PMS getting the best of me.
My cousin is a professional photographer, so he took family pictures this weekend. I figured I better get it done now. When he posts them on his site, I will let you know how to access.
I will post again Thursday, after I see the oncologist.
Michele

Scott's anchor

If your husband loves boats as much as mine, you will appreciate this story. I now have an 8 inch vertical scar on my abdomen that runs all the way to my c-section scar. The c-section scar is shaped like a smile. So my boat-loving husband revealed to me this weekend that he thinks it's really cool to have a wife that bears a permanent anchor engraved on her stomach. I'm so proud I could give him this constant reminder of where he would rather be!

Now on to some frequently asked q's, these tend to be what everyone wants to know but are afraid to ask, so I'll just clear the air.
1.Do we have insurance? YES. Even though we are both self-employed, we are not completely irresponsible, haha. We have very good insurance.
2.Did I have to have a colostomy bag? NO. 10 inches of my colon was removed and then re-attached and is working fine, which brings me to #3: What were the initial symptoms and have they gone away? Severe constipation and yes, things are in working order again.
4.Can you email me privately, without it being posted on the blog? YES. If you click on the envelope icon, it will email me privately. Clicking on "comment" will leave a post for everyone to read. My email is mpeters6@charter.net Also, if you leave a public comment, I cannot respond to it privately if I don't already have your email address.
Thanks and have a great week!
Love,
Michele

Toe movements???

I did waaaay too much yesterday and boy, did I pay the price. Yesterday, I ran errands for a couple of hours, then took Megan to a birthday party; I was bored and wanted to get out of the house. Then last night, I couldn't sleep, I had a lot of pain all over, I was miserable! I am having one of those days where I really wish this cancer had chosen to set up shop in my big toe, instead of my colon. It would have made things a lot simpler, they could have just cut it off and I could have gone on with my life, minus a toe. No one would ask "have you had a toe movement", "what is the consistency of your toe movements", "call us if you don't have a toe movement in 3 days".
I am here alone with both girls this morning. Scott had to work. Before he left, he gave me strict orders to "let Emily have whatever she wants", to avoid any problems. I have been surprised at how well Emily has handled everything in the past 2 weeks, but last night all her anxiety came out. She kept begging me not to go to the hospital or the doctor, she kept saying it over and over, she was really upset. She is absolutely terrified I will have to go back in the hospital and she thinks if I go to the doctor, he will put me in the hospital. I feel sorry for her. In case you are shaking your head, saying I wish there was something I could do, there actually is. Her new "thing" (and if you know Emily, you know she goes through these "things"), she loves to cut dogs out of magazines. It has become an obsession, but I am out of magazines with dogs. If you have any laying around your house you would be willing to donate, she would love it. She likes to sit with me and cut them out. It makes her so happy!
Megan is doing great since she started school this week. Can you believe 2 boys have already expressed interest in her (as only 8 year old boys can do)??? It's so cute, and she is secretly enjoying it! As you know, she reads everything, she even read my booklet about "Colon Surgery". Last night UPS dropped off a book I ordered about cancer, Scott immediately had to say "Megan don't be reading that", she said I want a cancer book to read. Luckily, I ordered one that addresses q's kids have about cancer.
Ok, this was a long post, I feel better now, this blog is very therapeutic!
Love,
Michele

Sugar

I am starting to feel a little crabby. It could be b/c I have given up sugar. I have been reading a lot about how sugar feeds cancer so I thought I better have my sweet tooth extracted. I plan to talk to Dr. Lilly about it next week. I hope the conversation goes something like this:
"Excuse me Doc, is it true that sugar feeds cancer?"
"No! Actually the opposite is true; you must consume as much sugar as you can; Sugar actually DESTROYS CANCER! So go home and raid Megan's secret chocolate stash!!!"

Anyway, I am trying to strike a balance between keeping busy but not doing too much. Without sugar, my life seems empty and meaningless, so I tried scrapbooking today, I had some great layouts of birthday cake, Thanksgiving pie, Valentines Day chocolate...
OK, gotta go, Emily wants to play CANDYLAND...
Love,
Michele

email Oprah

If you want to email Oprah, go to www.oprah.com In the upper left corner, you will see Inside Oprah.com Click on that, you will see option to email Oprah.
Thanks for asking!

Idle chit-chat

Well, I got my staples out today, finally. Since I have 2 c-sections under my belt (no pun intended), I knew it wouldn't be a big deal. My parents just left to go back home. Even though they would have stayed until eternity, I encouraged them to go home for awhile and come back in a few weeks. That way my Mom doesn't get too tuckered out from running my household.
Today I emailed Oprah, pleading with her to do a show on colon cancer. Remember the post where I mentioned I found a blog about a girl who had colon cancer, and when I read her story I decided to have the colonoscopy b/c we had the same symptoms (in case you didn't know, I had originally thought no way am I having that test). I credit her story with saving my life. We even share the same birthday. Anyway, she wants to go on Oprah and tell her story; apparently they told her they would have to get lots of requests before they would agree to it.
The only other thing I did today was order a medic alert bracelet. I am worried about all the driving I do with my job that something could happen, like a wreck, and I thought it might be important to know my info.
Something struck me funny yesterday. I got teary-eyed over a Nicholas Sparks book and then I thought, I'm crying over a fictional book and I have cancer. What could be sadder than cancer, haha.
Thanks for listening.
Love,
Michele

Rate your tears

Short post:
When you are a patient at Southeast Hospital, they ask you to continually rate your pain. Today I decided we will use the same system for rating my crying jags. That way, for future reference, you will know how upsetting something was to me by the rating I give. For example, tears in the eyes is a "1", a complete hysterical meltdown is a "10". Today, I opened an email from one of Scott's fishing buddies, he sent a picture/article about his wife and teenage daughter winning a fishing tournament. I immediately burst into tears that escalated to about a "6". Scott didn't understand why it upset me. Can anyone out there comprehend this? I couldn't explain it to him, which left him very puzzled.
Anyway, that's all for now.
Love,
Michele

Flowers, staples and burgers...

I am enjoying an hour of solitude this morning. Scott took the girls to church. Emily wanted to know why I wasn't going. My mind is still foggy so the only reason I could give was Well, I can't go, I still have staples in my belly. So Emily says Mommy are you not allowed to have staples in church?
I wanted to tell you, I became somewhat of a legend at Southeast this week, with all the flowers and visitors. One nurse said she had never seen anyone get so many flowers. It became a joke that when someone came in my room, they would always say It smells like a flower shop in here. We started laughing every time someone would say it. By Friday, I had so many visitors and visits from the floral shop, apparently when yet another visitor came, the front desk attendant said with a sigh Oh, I don't even have to look that one up, it's Room 516!
Emily now has a new food jag, thanks to her Uncle Ray who came to town this week. I am sad to say he introduced her (and I mean introduced b/c never would I allow it) to White Castle. She is now hooked. She would beg him to take her back, which he kept doing b/c he too is hooked and he thought the whole thing was hilarious. Apparently, Megan sat in the backseat at the White Castle drive thru, shaking her head repeating "heart attack in a sack, you guys are gonna regret this". Ray has left town and we are considering telling Emily that without Ray's business, the place had to close down. Anyone who knows Emily, knows how vicious her food jags are, and right now you are shaking your head, saying Oh, man, that's bad...
Amy Hume, stop laughing, I can hear you from across town...
Ok, a quick update on me, I get my staples out Wed and I see the oncologist on the 30th. He will set up PET scans, to see if anything bad shows up somewhere else. We know I have some bad cells floating around, since we found them in the lymph nodes, but they will be too tiny to pick up on scans, but the scans will show us any larger spots. Sometime in the next month, I will also have a medi-port surgically placed in my subclavian so I won't have to get poked so much, all my veins are already blown. The chemo will go in there too. I will get chemo every 2 weeks for 6 months, each injection will take 48 hours, I will go to Southeast to have it turned on, go home and go back 48 hours later to have it turned off. A few things that scare me so bad, they take my breath away are: getting the results of the PET scans and having the initial injection of chemo. So direct your prayers that way. Thanks.
Love,
Michele

Home! Home at Last!

I am home!!! It feels wonderful! I waited all day for the surgeon to make rounds. I had a speech all prepared about how important it was for me to get home, my kids were really needing me. Thankfully, I didn't have to beg too hard, he okayed it.
Just to let you know the plan, I will be receiving my chemo at Southeast. I have to wait 6 weeks, so I can heal from the surgery. I tried to convince Dr. Lilly (my oncologist) that I will recover quickly and I want to start sooner, but that's not an option. I am having a hard time waiting. I have an image in my head of the cells multiplying in my body and I want to destroy them asap.
I am tired tonight and I can't think very clearly so this is short. But Scott wants everyone to know that he discovered something very positive that comes from a cancer diagnosis- the life insurance salesmen will no longer bother us. Obviously our agent hasn't heard the news b/c he sent us a sales pitch this week.
I will write again soon, there is more to say but I am wiped out.
Love,
Michele

Sips n Chips

For days now all Michele could eat has been sips of water and chips of ice. Yesterday she was told she was ready for food. I think Cream of wheat is now her favorite dish. Her recovery
is going great ! She met with the Oncologist yesterday. He answered many of our Questions
and really made Michele feel better about everything. She may be going home Sat or Sun, YEAH!
My sister inlaws have been doing blog entries for me until now. I would like to thank everybody
for your prayers and support. We are all doing well, and are very well fed, thank you.
Finding out your wife has cancer is a big shock. We are dealing with it. I tell people it is easier for
us because we are not well organized people, This didn't really mess up any of our plans because
we didn't have any. I think it might be better than winning the lottery (bear with me )
you discover who all your friends and family are, however, they help you instead of you helping
them. Megans biggest concern is that mom will lose her hair, she will happy when I tell her
the doctor said that might not happen. Emily just wants mommy home.
When I met Michele she was 19 years old living on her own working to pay her way though school. She was a very independent and determined woman. That's what I love about her.
Over the years we have had many challenges big and small and she has over came and worked
through all of them. Our faith is strong.
When Michele gets home I know she will want to "Blog" with all of you, she loves this
communication stuff.
Again thank you for everything and keep praying.
Love Scott

Day Four with No Food

Michele and Scott received devastating news today…the cancer did spread into a lymph node. After many tears we all pulled ourselves together to talk about next steps. Southeast has a new Oncologist starting tomorrow. Michele’s doctor made a call and got the Oncologist to see her on his first day to begin preparing for additional testing and her treatments which will start after her six week recovery from Monday’s surgery. The cancer team spoke very highly of the new Oncologist. You may have seen him on the local news talking about his view on cancer recovery fatigue. His belief is exercise is best instead of staying sedentary during your recovery…Michele thought she had the best excuse in the world to cancel her gym membership. Michele had a couple visitors today which lifted her spirits when she really needed it. She isn’t ready to talk to many people about it; she needs a few more days to absorb the information and all that is ahead of her. She made great strides in physical recovery today. She was unhooked from everything but the IV and was able to shower tonight. She has a much greater appreciation for her infant patients that use a ng tube. She had hers in for two and a half days and disliked every moment. She is walking frequently and sitting up most of the day. She reached day four without food and once the ng tube came out she began feeling hungry. She resorted to begging for any kind of food by 7pm today. Tomorrow she will get jello to eat. It isn't bread but it will do. The girls' visit to the hospital today was again a highlight for Michele. Our prayer requests are for getting the best care for Michele and pray that her doctor has the wisdom to treat her. We also ask that you pray for Scott and the girls.

Thank you for your prayers.

"Colon Surgery Red"

As you know Michele always keeps her sense of humor in any situation especially those times where humor is all you have left to give. Yesterday she informed all the nurses, techs, and doctors that she had a pre-surgery pedicure and painted her toes "colon surgery red". She spent the first part of the day in and out of sleep from the morphine and was having a rough morning. Her fabulous nurse, Cindy, suggested a different pain medicine and convinced the doctor to let her have it instead of morphine. Within 15 minutes she woke up and was ready to walk. She has felt great since and has been sitting in a chair for long periods of time. She was able to walk around the fifth floor at two different times today and plans another evening stroll later tonight. The girls came up and spent time with Michele today. Megan had to check everything out including the bathroom. Megan loved Michele’s room and was fascinated by the space and storage. She hopes her college dorm room is as cool and she can’t wait to go back to the hospital to visit and hang out with us Aunts. Emily did not want to leave Michele’s side and gave her lots of love and attention. And in perfect Emily fashion she said, "You look silly Mommy". Michele wanted to be sure we told you all that she is so appreciative of all the flowers. The arrangements are absolutely beautiful. I want to personally say, thanks for the food…it has been yummy.

:)

Successful Surgery

Hi Everyone! Michele's surgery was a success and went smoothely. The doctor was very pleased and only had to remove 10 inches of her colon. He was very optimistic that the cancerous polyp was smaller (only dime size) than he originally thought. He said it didn't look like it had spread to the lymph nodes but we will know for sure on Wednesday. He checked out her liver and said it was fine. The other area Michele was concerned with was the cysts on her ovaries. The doctor broke them up and said she is fine in that area as well. We sat with her for a while after recovery while Scott held her hand. She is having a lot of pain. Our prayer requests for her is that the pain won't last long and won't be too much to handle. Also that the results on Wednesday will confirm that the cancer has not spread. Michele has really enjoyed reading the comments from everyone. We plan on printing them off and reading them to her throughout her stay in the hospital this week. Thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts. On behaf of Michele's extended family we can't express enough how much we appreciate your support.

Sisters in life & prayer,
Linda, Donna, and Carol

Can't sleep...

It's 4:30 in the morning and I have given up on sleep. I have been up most of the night, in the bathroom. There are 2 things about colon cancer that are not fun, clear liquid diets and colon preps. Yuck.
It has been so nice having my family here. My 3 sisters are so supportive and of course, what would I do without my parents. I am worried about how Emily will cope with me being gone. Last night she begged me not to go. I said I have a booboo in my belly that the dr. has to fix. She said "Mommy, I love you just the way you are". It breaks my heart to leave her, as you all know, we do everything we can to keep her world very structured so it makes me sad to upset her routine. Megan is at the question age, she freaked a little when she read the booklet about colon surgery. She keeps saying Mom this is so gross. Of course, this is coming from a child who neutered a cat at vet camp this summer. If I were an animal, she wouldn't think twice about any of it!
Scott is under strict orders to provide everyone with updates this week. So, I will close now, thanks for all the support. I never knew so many people cared about me.
Love,
Michele

Comment for all the Moms out there...

Here's a chuckle for the day. Yesterday Scott said he's really starting to wonder how he's going to do everything b/c (and this is a quote) "Michele, you do it all". WHOO HOO!!! I've been waiting 12 years to hear that!!! I didn't know I would have to get cancer to finally be acknowledged for all I do, haha. I know all you moms out there will know what I mean!

quick note

I forgot to mention, I changed the settings, you should not have to register in order to leave a comment.

"The Last Supper"

Today was a good day, I felt better than I have in weeks, I even had an appetite. I ate more than I have in weeks. Everyone wanted to know what I wanted for my "Last Supper" since this is my last day to eat. Tomorrow I start my clear liquid diet in preparation for surgery and I've been told it will be days and days before I get to eat again. So anyway, I chose a pulled pork/cole slaw sandwich. Delicious! And my sister Donna has been feeding me chocolate chip cookies all weekend.
Ok, so everyone has asked how all this started. I will tell you that things just kinda stopped working, so to speak. It was a sudden onset, so I knew something was wrong. Of course, this is NOT something I wanted to bring up, I didn't even tell Scott for a month. In retrospect, he says he knew something was wrong, I haven't been myself all summer. I have also lost weight b/c I just haven't been hungry, I have had a lot of nausea, feeling of fullness and lower back pain. So I went to the doctor, horrified to discuss the problem but desperate for a cure. My doctor was concerned enough to recommend a colonoscopy so he called GI and got me in quick. I had the test on Tuesday evening, before we left the nurse came in and said it looks like cancer. The doc called Wed and said yes, it is cancer, go see a surgeon TOMORROW. So by Thursday, I had surgery scheduled for Monday. My entire life has changed since Wed. Anyone that has ever been told they have cancer will know what I mean. There are lots of "firsts", as in the first time I said "I have colon cancer" (Cathlin, I believe that was when you called), the first time I had to write it down on yet another medical form; it still doesn't feel real. I looked in the mirror and thought how odd to know something so bad is growing inside of me. Today, Father Dave called and he is going to annoint me after church tomorrow.
The girls are handling things ok. Having a house full of company has been a little stressful on Emily, she said today she didn't like all the noise. She thinks everyone is here for a party, she keeps saying we're having a party. Megan knew something was wrong when she found out everyone was coming, she said suspiciously, Mom why is everyone coming here. On a lighter note, Megan asked if I will get to keep the piece of colon they are removing. When I said NO, she said "Mom, I would just ask if I could keep it and then I would frame it on the wall!"
Gotta go. Talk to you later.
Michele

Offers for help

We have been overwhelmed with support from everyone! Many of you want to know how you can help. So I have decided the supper suggestions would be very helpful. It's hard for me to ask for anything but I am getting over that. So, let us know what night would work for you, let's shoot for dates between Monday, the 13th on through the next two weeks. So the best way to do it would be, post a comment on the blog telling what date you have picked, that way everyone can see what nights are chosen. I think everyone has my cell #, you can call to arrange a time for drop-off. OK, more company has arrived, gotta go. Thanks again.

Surgery on Monday

I have created this blog so everyone can keep updated on how things are going. As you know by now, I have been diagnosed with colon cancer. It all happened very fast! Surgery is set for Monday. I will write more details later. Right now, I am still in shock and I have a house full of company. I know most of you are wondering how it all happened. I will get to that, I promise. Please say a prayer. I will be at Southeast Hospital bright and early Monday morning; we should know by next Wed whether the cancer is in my lymph nodes. I will have to stay 5-7 days and I will be off work about a month. Yesterday, my family jumped in the car and came to help me out. They are awesome. My brain is in overdrive, I have so much to get done before Monday! Everyone has asked what can I do? I will tell you, just pray! And who knows, I may need some help with the girls at some point, they are starting school soon and it's hard to have 2 kids in 2 different schools. Right now I feel okay but that will change next week!!! Thanks for all the offers of help. I have quickly realized how much support I have! By the way, Scott will be posting while I am in the hospital.