Mama Bear

This week at work I read Berenstein Bears Learn to do Chores to a nearly-three year old. She brought it out for me to read. Berenstain Bear books are rather lengthy so I summarized it.
Sorta.
Perhaps it was fatigue, boredom or just my wacky sense of humor, but the story went something like this...

Papa Bear works a lot and Sister Bear and Brother Bear never clean up their messes. This makes Mama Bear sooooo tired. Mama Bear works hard all day and she is just so tired of cleaning up after so many bears.
One day Mama Bear said Enough! You two bears are going to have to help me clean up!
Brother and Sister Bear grumbled about this. Papa Bear came home and he was just too tired to argue, b/c Papa Bear works a lot in the spring.
Mama Bear threatened to take away all the toys in the house.
So Brother Bear and Sister Bear learned to clean up their messes.
Mama Bear was soooooo happy. Mama Bear just gets so tired after working all day.
Brother and Sister Bear know how important it is that Mama gets plenty of rest, especially after a long day at work.
They want Mama Bear to be happy.

Otherwise she might move to Australia.

Good Intentions Gone Bad

I had good intentions. I really did. But when it came for preparations for the 100th day of kindergarten, I think I failed the test.
The assignment was to count out 100 items to put in a group snack mix. Of course, Wednesday night came and I had forgotten to plan ahead so the only thing I had in the house was Cinnamon Crunch cereal. I figured since the box was unopened, it would be ok to use it. Then Megan says Well....I opened it. Ok, I'll just ignore the fact the box was open. Don't ask, don't tell. Well, Wednesday night came and went and Thursday morning I remembered we hadn't counted out the cereal. So here we go. Let's make this a learning experience. So Emily begins to count out the cereal, sloooooowly; I turn my attention away for an instant and suddenly 31 pieces of cereal have become 78. Ok...let's start over...oh no, we're not going to cry over miscounted cereal...the counting begins again even slooooower...ok, let's make 10 rows of 10 pieces! I begin the cereal grid...Emily, you fill in the grid...watch the elbows, you're messing up the rows...10 on each row...ok, this isn't working...I'll make 10 rows both directions, then you can count the pieces after I'm done...ok, here's the finished grid, count them out...how did you end up on #33 at the end of the row...ok, JUST BAG THE CEREAL AND TAKE IT TO SCHOOL!!!

Parenting 101

Congratulations to my sister Linda for starting her own blog!
Over the holidays, I bragged to Linda about how rarely we get sick in our house and when we do get sick, we never pass it on to one another. In other words, never in the history of the Peters household has there been more than 1 sick person at a time. I must have forgotten to knock on wood! Last Friday the stomach bug hit our household and 3/4 of us were very sick!!! Can you guess who has the strongest immune system and the biggest handwashing obsession??? ME! (Ok, I'm knocking on wood right now so I won't wake up tonight and find myself sick). Thursday night, after the girls went to bed, I was reading one of my favorite blogs Mrs. Dirnberger. Her blog is upbeat and fun. She was talking about how badly she wants children. She would gladly take the long nights, the postbaby body, all the stuff that goes with parenting. As I am reading it, I hear THE COUGH come from Emily's room. I immediately go into PARENTING DENIAL. See, our kids have a unique system for letting us know they are about to puke. They have a certain cough that comes about 10 seconds before it hits. So denial kicks in. That is NOT the pre-puke cough...it was just a cough...then I hear it...there's no denying the sound of a puke. Now, I have to stop right here and tell you I have been a parent for 10 1/2 years and I have NEVER in all that time seen vomit like this. It was the most violent and graphic act of vomiting I have ever seen. I screamed OMG, how many fish sticks did you feed this child for supper!!! Scott swears she had 8 so I must tell every parent out there an unknown fact. FISHSTICKS REPRODUCE AFTER CONSUMPTION. There were at least 54 fishsticks laying in a pile. But there were also fishsticks on the wall, on the floor, in her hair. I took her to the bathroom, at which time more fishsticks began to fly around the room. So we get her cleaned up and PARENTING DENIAL kicks in again. Parents, you know what I'm talking about. You're tired, you want to go to bed, so you look at each other and say, Oh, it was probably just a one time thing, she's fine. Let's put her back to bed. She'll be fine. Then she pukes again and you start the whole process all over again.
What makes this story really funny is that my sister Linda who seriously does have the healthiest kids I've ever known, just texted me while I am writing this and told me her son is puking. Go figure.

Kevin

If you came to my blog for a good chuckle, just sign off b/c there are none today.
When I went to the TEC retreat last weekend, I spent much of the prayer time asking God to give my friend Kevin and his wife Brenda some peace and to help them face this cancer battle, no matter what the outcome or prognosis may be. I prayed for them silently, I prayed for them out loud, I just kept praying for God to give them strength. As you know, we were not allowed to use cell phones while we were there. I snuck up to the room about midnight the first night and turned my phone on to check the time. To my surprise, Kevin had left a message telling me he was in the hospital. I was so upset that I had missed his call and even more upset that I hadn't known he needed me and couldn't call him back. I admit, I questioned God. Why was it that I had spent the whole day in prayer for him and I hadn't been there when he needed me. On Monday I finally got to talk to him and of course, he ended up making ME feel better. He assured me he had felt all the prayers and I had to believe that I was there when he needed me, just not in the way I had thought I needed to be. Like he always says- BELIEVE. Anyway, he had surgery yesterday and I don't think he would mind me telling you that he is at a very low point in his life, both mentally and physically. His wife Brenda needs prayers too. Brenda is a very strong person, I always think of her as a Steel Magnolia, but I can't imagine what she is going through right now.
I do want to say that the retreat was an incredible experience for me. I spent most of the weekend praying and...eating. The food was great, especially since I didn't have to cook or clean!
I also want to talk about my sister Linda's project. She lost her precious baby boy, Declan, in May, after spending 65 days with him in the NICU. Declan touched a lot of lives and she wants to honor him so she has created http://www.itsnomonkeybusiness.com/ Please take the time to check out this site. If you are looking for a service project or maybe you want to donate to a charity this holiday season, please consider donating items in Declan's honor. If you live nearby, you can always bring the items to me and I will deliver them to her. I am planning 2 visits in the near future.
Ok, well I can't blog without a little humor so I will leave you with a conversation I had with Emily this week. First you have to know that Emily goes to a Catholic school and she tells me every day what they learned in religion. So this week, she says Mommy, you can't hide from God, he is always watching you. You can't sneak b/c he always knows what you are doing. Fast forward 20 minutes, she says Mommy, the kids at lunch always give me their food, they have to sneak it b/c it's against the rules. So I say, Hey don't forget you can't sneak with God, he's always watching. She says Oh, that's ok, God never says anything about that!

Cryptic Speaking

Well, that last blog was a lot of fun but so many of you forgot to sign your name! It's no fun if you don't tell me who you are! And I am still trying to guess who sat in the parking lot and listened to Styx! Please tell!
One thing that Scott and I have always done around the kids is what we call "cryptic speaking". My Mom thinks it's pretty clever. Once the kids get old enough that we can't spell anymore, we have to talk above their heads. If you know Megan, you know we passed the cryptic stage a long time ago with her. Now Scott, Megan and I are using cryptic talk around Emily. I am trying to teach Megan how to do this. She is really good at interpreting though. For example, if we are talking about Emily, we will use "offspring", "sibling", "descendent", etc. "Eat" is usually "consume". "Buy" is always "purchase". Burger King might be "beef royalty". So if we are going to take Emily to Burger King, I might tell Megan "I am considering taking our offspring to Beef Royalty to consume poultry". Or "Your sibling will not accompany us to the retail outlets. Instead, she will experience a deep slumber". So tonight I'm wondering if anyone else does this and if so, give some examples of how you use cryptic speaking. Or just leave me a cryptic message. But please sign your name! Thanks!

'Twas the night before Kindergarten...

and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even...Emily. Well I tried to make it special but the plans backfired. I thought we would go eat (her favorite activity), come home and read her "going to kindergarten" books, take a nice leisurely bath, pick her outfit (first day of school is picture day so no uniforms on that day) then we would snuggle in bed and she would drift off to sleep, dreaming of kindergarten. This would be in direct opposition to the dream I had last night that I was dragging her by the arm in the front yard trying to get her ready for school. So I asked her to pick a restaurant. She picked Applebee's b/c she likes their fries and ketchup. She picks restaurants based on whether they serve fries and if they do serve fries, are they the right kind of fries, are they stingy with the ketchup, etc. After driving 20 min to get there, we pull in the parking lot and she says "I'm sick, I think I'm going to throw up". I guess she is so nervous about school, she had a bad stomachache. So we drove home b/c she refused to go in and eat. She fell asleep on the way home and went straight to bed at 5:30. Which means she'll be up EARLY. Anyone that says kids grow up fast doesn't live in our house. Even though Emily's birth certificate says she is 5 years old, that's not her true age. See, she was 2 for at least 5 years, 3 lasted about 4 years and 4 lasted a couple of years. We have lost track of how long she has been 5, so we are only guessing when we say she is actually about 12. At least that's how long it feels like we've been ordering fries with extra ketchup.

Take the Good with the Bad

This month is the first time in 10 years that we have not had to pay for childcare. We were excited about all that extra money we would have. I decided to go ahead and spend it today by busting up the fender on my car in a ridiculous stunt that involved a curb and a hole. Since our deductible is a mere $1000, our former childcare fund is now spent. On a sidenote, Megan has been asking for 2 years what is the "king of all bad words". When I introduced my car to the curb/hole this morning, the "king" flew out of my mouth. Megan immediately turns to me and says "Well, I guess I know what the king of all bad words is".
The day did get better. I got a free massage at Style Stop b/c my friend Pam A. nominated me for a "Brighten Your Day" treat. I was treated to my first ever massage, and then they gave me a cream cheese cinnamon roll, rainbow sherbet and a glass of tea. I was in such a trance from that massage, I could barely move. It was amazing. Thank you Pam, you are a good friend and your kindness came on a good day. I topped the day off with dinner in Perryville with Kasey.
So the moral of the story is- Take the good with the bad. And watch out for curbs with holes.
Love,
Michele

Flowers, staples and burgers...

I am enjoying an hour of solitude this morning. Scott took the girls to church. Emily wanted to know why I wasn't going. My mind is still foggy so the only reason I could give was Well, I can't go, I still have staples in my belly. So Emily says Mommy are you not allowed to have staples in church?
I wanted to tell you, I became somewhat of a legend at Southeast this week, with all the flowers and visitors. One nurse said she had never seen anyone get so many flowers. It became a joke that when someone came in my room, they would always say It smells like a flower shop in here. We started laughing every time someone would say it. By Friday, I had so many visitors and visits from the floral shop, apparently when yet another visitor came, the front desk attendant said with a sigh Oh, I don't even have to look that one up, it's Room 516!
Emily now has a new food jag, thanks to her Uncle Ray who came to town this week. I am sad to say he introduced her (and I mean introduced b/c never would I allow it) to White Castle. She is now hooked. She would beg him to take her back, which he kept doing b/c he too is hooked and he thought the whole thing was hilarious. Apparently, Megan sat in the backseat at the White Castle drive thru, shaking her head repeating "heart attack in a sack, you guys are gonna regret this". Ray has left town and we are considering telling Emily that without Ray's business, the place had to close down. Anyone who knows Emily, knows how vicious her food jags are, and right now you are shaking your head, saying Oh, man, that's bad...
Amy Hume, stop laughing, I can hear you from across town...
Ok, a quick update on me, I get my staples out Wed and I see the oncologist on the 30th. He will set up PET scans, to see if anything bad shows up somewhere else. We know I have some bad cells floating around, since we found them in the lymph nodes, but they will be too tiny to pick up on scans, but the scans will show us any larger spots. Sometime in the next month, I will also have a medi-port surgically placed in my subclavian so I won't have to get poked so much, all my veins are already blown. The chemo will go in there too. I will get chemo every 2 weeks for 6 months, each injection will take 48 hours, I will go to Southeast to have it turned on, go home and go back 48 hours later to have it turned off. A few things that scare me so bad, they take my breath away are: getting the results of the PET scans and having the initial injection of chemo. So direct your prayers that way. Thanks.
Love,
Michele