I'd Like To Buy a Vowel...

In the fall of 2003, I began providing pediatric speech therapy in homes. My first assigned child had working parents so I would arrive once a week at 6:15 pm. It was a great home but I was always surprised that the television was left on during my time with the child. It was always tuned to the same station, which meant I listened to Wheel of Fortune for half of my session. It was not easy to try and elicit words from a child with "I'd like to buy a vowel" in the background. I was easily distracted by it and found myself trying to solve the puzzles. Turning my back to the tv did not help, as I was too tempted to turn around, so I positioned myself to watch at an angle.
I soon discovered that the majority of homes I visited had the tv on while I was present. Because I visited each home at the same time every week, I soon realized I had my own little television program guide at each house. Each week I listened to episodes of ER, Unsolved Mysteries, Little House on the Prairie and lots of soap operas. I quickly realized I could watch just 1 episode a week of Young and the Restless and still follow the storyline. One house I went to had closed captioning and it was so hard not to read that screen! I couldn't resist! I've also watched plenty of game shows, especially The Price is Right and my favorite, $100,000 Pyramid. I've watched countless episodes of Heartland News at Noon and seen more recipes from Mr. Food than I care to count.
I remember the day the Catholic Church was about to reveal the new pope. I went from home to home, watching it, and hoping to see the announcement. After 3 visits, I finally got to see it. I also remember what home I was sitting in when I watched the Columbine shootings.
Of course, there were plenty of homes with cartoons on the tv. Once I was forced to use the cartoon as a way to elicit words from a child in a home with no toys.
I've watched HBO, E!, BET, VH1 and MTV. I've watched enough Lifetime movies to know that when Patty Duke shows up, there's always crying and screaming. Over the years, I have tried to teach myself to tune it all out. But this week, I found myself completely unable to tune out what's on. Comedy Central was showing Loni Love's Standup Comedy. I found myself trying to do therapy between Loni's voice and all the "beeps" that censor out what you obviously know she is saying. Luckily I was in a home that I have been visiting for 6 years so I felt fairly comfortable laughing hysterically at Loni's humor.
Is it wrong to listen to the tv when I'm working with a child? Maybe. Is it wrong to laugh at Loni's jokes? Probably. I would have been better off watching Patty throw a tantrum than listening to Loni trash talk the President.
But nothing beats buying a vowel from Vanna.