CT scan looks good

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My results from the CT scan are back and no sign of cancer! My platelets have dropped again just since last month. We are not sure why this is happening but I am going back to see Dr. G next week to discuss what to do. My hemacrit is also low, which explains why I have recently been napping every day, I am really tired. Next on the list is a colonoscopy and a pap smear, can you think of anything more pleasant???
Speaking of tired, I am going to go lay down before it's time to cook supper.
I'll write more later.
Love,
Michele;

Math Problems

Well, I am happy to see so many votes on my poll, it looks like Sandy is the real winner, she reports she has 30 pairs of flipflops! You go, girl!
School started this week and so far, so good. Emily loves it! She is so adorable in her uniform! Check out the pics I posted on the sidebar. So tonight, we are 2 days into the 4th grade, page 3 of the math book and here is one of Megan's math problems: "If you add a ten thousands digit that is 2 times the ones digit to the number 2,794, what is the new number? Explain." Scott and I are stumped already! If you know the answer, please tell me! I would love to know how many of you could figure that out. I do have 2 friends that are math teachers, so I am counting on them to report the answer.
Here is one more math problem to solve:
Michele has a CT scan at 9:15. The test is in St. Louis, which is a 2 hour drive. No liquids are allowed for 4 hours before the test. Which option should she pick:
a)Get up at 5 am and drink 2 cups of coffee before 5:15
b)Sleep till the last possible minute and go without coffee
I pick a). Go without coffee??? No way!!!

Have a great weekend!
Love,
Michele

'Twas the night before Kindergarten...

and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even...Emily. Well I tried to make it special but the plans backfired. I thought we would go eat (her favorite activity), come home and read her "going to kindergarten" books, take a nice leisurely bath, pick her outfit (first day of school is picture day so no uniforms on that day) then we would snuggle in bed and she would drift off to sleep, dreaming of kindergarten. This would be in direct opposition to the dream I had last night that I was dragging her by the arm in the front yard trying to get her ready for school. So I asked her to pick a restaurant. She picked Applebee's b/c she likes their fries and ketchup. She picks restaurants based on whether they serve fries and if they do serve fries, are they the right kind of fries, are they stingy with the ketchup, etc. After driving 20 min to get there, we pull in the parking lot and she says "I'm sick, I think I'm going to throw up". I guess she is so nervous about school, she had a bad stomachache. So we drove home b/c she refused to go in and eat. She fell asleep on the way home and went straight to bed at 5:30. Which means she'll be up EARLY. Anyone that says kids grow up fast doesn't live in our house. Even though Emily's birth certificate says she is 5 years old, that's not her true age. See, she was 2 for at least 5 years, 3 lasted about 4 years and 4 lasted a couple of years. We have lost track of how long she has been 5, so we are only guessing when we say she is actually about 12. At least that's how long it feels like we've been ordering fries with extra ketchup.

TGIF!

Well, I'm really glad it's Friday, it has been an eventful week. A bit of good news, we were wrong about our deductible on the car, it's only $500. Only $500! Listen to me, like that's a bargain or something. The reality of it must have set in for Scott but first let me back up. Scott never yells at me or gets really mad at my antics. I've talked about that before. He has a different way of dealing with things- he uses his TOOLS. So yesterday, he snuck outside and "fixed" my car- with epoxy glue and a bolt. I am not kidding. He proudly proclaimed it was not necessary to pay to get the car fixed, he did it himself. He feels much better but I don't. I am not going to drive around in a car that is glued together. Scott has a lot of quirks, some of them don't bother me, some do. For example, the toilet seat thing doesn't bother me but I go crazy if he doesn't hang up his towel. He teases me b/c I have a system for everything but he won't follow the system, you know like the towel system, the laundry system, etc. I have discovered that even though I know him, I will never understand him. Like on the rare occasion I send him grocery shopping, he will always come home with a can of bread crumbs. I have never understood it, but I know he will always come home, take them out of the bag, hold them up and tell me what he wants to use them for. At one time, we had about 6 cans in the cabinet and I decided to throw them out b/c I thought they would be stale then I realized, aren't bread crumbs already stale? How do you know when to throw out bread crumbs. Is it like Opposite Day, when you open the can and they smell like fresh baked bread, you say Oops, time to throw these out.
Ok, so I told my Mom that I wanted a set of sheets for my birthday last month. We only have 1 (cheap) set and it's hard to change them and get them washed before bedtime. So she buys us some fancy ones, 2 sets actually. They are 450 thread count and if you know sheets, you know 450's are heavenly. I have never owned a set of 450's and I was so excited to tell Scott about them. He had no clue about 450's, thread count, etc. So we have been joking every night about how we have moved up in the world b/c we are sleeping on 450's. Last night Emily crawled in our bed and said she had a tummyache. To which I said Don't bromit on my 450's! (we use the phrase "my baby bromitted", long story, inside joke). Scott said Oh if my baby bromits on these sheets, it'll just slide right off. Well, our baby brommitted on the sheets at 3 in the morning and it wasn't pretty! Luckily I declared we had a spare set of 450's so I went back to sleep and Scott stayed up all night with our brommitting baby.
So you can see why it's been a crazy week. Feel free to leave a comment about your spouse's weird quirks so I'll feel better about being married to someone who loves bread crumbs.
Michele

Take the Good with the Bad

This month is the first time in 10 years that we have not had to pay for childcare. We were excited about all that extra money we would have. I decided to go ahead and spend it today by busting up the fender on my car in a ridiculous stunt that involved a curb and a hole. Since our deductible is a mere $1000, our former childcare fund is now spent. On a sidenote, Megan has been asking for 2 years what is the "king of all bad words". When I introduced my car to the curb/hole this morning, the "king" flew out of my mouth. Megan immediately turns to me and says "Well, I guess I know what the king of all bad words is".
The day did get better. I got a free massage at Style Stop b/c my friend Pam A. nominated me for a "Brighten Your Day" treat. I was treated to my first ever massage, and then they gave me a cream cheese cinnamon roll, rainbow sherbet and a glass of tea. I was in such a trance from that massage, I could barely move. It was amazing. Thank you Pam, you are a good friend and your kindness came on a good day. I topped the day off with dinner in Perryville with Kasey.
So the moral of the story is- Take the good with the bad. And watch out for curbs with holes.
Love,
Michele

On this date...August 7th.

Today seemed like an ordinary day. I knew it was August 7th but no bells went off. I received a letter in the mail reminding me to schedule my yearly colonoscopy. But still, I did not remember what day it was. One year ago today, I had my colonoscopy and my life changed forever.
It was a very long day. My appointment was not until 2:00. I had not eaten anything since Sunday night. Monday was clear liquids only and I carefully followed the instructions for the prep that night. So by Tuesday, I felt really weak b/c it had been so long since I had eaten. I laid on the couch all day. Time crawled by. Scott came home and we went early in the hopes they would get me sooner. No such luck. I sat and sat. At 4:00, a nurse came out to the waiting room and told me it would still be awhile. I lost it. I became very angry, raising my voice, telling her I had not eaten in nearly 48 hours. Still, we waited. Finally they came and got me.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up and Scott was standing at my bedside, and the nurse was standing in the doorway saying "It really looks like cancer." I looked at Scott and said "Oh my gosh". I was still very foggy and so I don't remember very much. Somehow I got dressed and the nurse handed me 3 bottles of barium and said I would need it for the CT scan. It was really late by this time, maybe around 6:00. The original plan was to stop somewhere and get a sandwich but we went straight home.
My mind cleared just enough to call my parents. That was the hardest phone call I have ever made in my life. They knew NOTHING. I had not told them anything about the problems I had been having or that I had the test scheduled. So you can imagine their shock. I told them nothing had been confirmed but the nurse had said it looked like cancer. I didn't talk long b/c what else could I say? They needed time to absorb what I had said anyway. I asked them to call all of my sisters.
I can remember sitting on the couch, Scott in his chair. We were so stunned. One thing that had confused us was that the nurse was the one who actually said "cancer" and we thought she was out of line for telling us that. We wondered if she had overstepped her bounds and maybe it really wasn't cancer. We went back and forth all night. One minute we were thinking, there is no way I could have colon cancer, it's a mistake, they are overly cautious. The next minute we were thinking, they wouldn't have said that if they weren't sure.
So we had to wait until the next day. They had said they would call me. I could not concentrate on anything. Every time my phone rang, I jumped. I carried my phone everywhere, even the bathroom. I refused to drive anywhere that did not have a good phone signal. Finally by 1:00, I couldn't stand it anymore and I called the office. They put me on hold a really long time (about 10 minutes) and came back and said the results weren't back. Later, I came to believe the results probably were back but the doctor could not get to the phone to talk to me at that time or for some reason, they weren't ready to tell me.
I drove to Jackson to pick up the girls. Brooke was watching them that day. I remember telling Twylia I might have cancer and then feeling silly b/c what if it wasn't, then I had just overreacted. By this time it was 3:00 and I was insane with worry and anxiety.
Anytime there is a tragedy, you always remember the exact spot where you were when it happened. I remember where I was when the Challenger exploded, I remember where I was on Sept 11th. On this day, I was driving home on Interstate 55 with the girls in the back of the car. I was passing through all the construction right where they were building the new Main St. exit. The phone rang and as I passed mile marker 101, Dr. Schneider said "it's cancer". We talked but I don't remember anything past that. I know he finished the conversation as I pulled in the driveway and walked in the house. I know I stood in the playroom, stunned beyond belief. The girls went in the house and started arguing. They were yelling at each other and all I could think was "They are screaming and I have cancer. How can they be screaming at a time like this". I called Scott and oh, it was so hard to tell him. It felt as if I were telling him Life as we knew it is gone.
I went to my bedroom and sat on the bed with the phone in my hand. Who do I call first? The phone rang. It was my good friend Cathlin. She was so excited b/c we had all gotten a HUGE raise that day. She was going on and on about it and then she paused and said Hey are you ok? I said "No. I just found out I have colon cancer". It was the first of many many times I would repeat those words.
I do not remember calling my parents but I know I did. I do remember going to work at 6:00 to see a kid at Jackson. I can't believe I actually went but I do remember thinking that I needed to go b/c I was going to be off work for a long time. Just before I left their house, I said "by the way...".
The next thing we had to do was tell Megan. Although I do not want to share the details, I can tell you it was an extremely difficult experience. I can say that early on, I decided I would not hide things from Megan. I am very open with her, she reads my blog and she knows when we are hiding things from her. Some would disagree with our parenting style but that is the decision we made.
It was a frenzied night for my family in Arkansas. They all swung into action, making immediate plans to come to Missouri to be with me. I don't remember when they all got here but it was very quick.
The next day I saw the surgeon and Friday I had a CT scan to make sure the cancer had not spread to my other organs. Luckily it had not. Surgery was scheduled for Monday.
I decided quickly that I needed a blog b/c we knew so many people and I was already so weary from repeating the story. One thing I decided early on was that this was not going to be a sad blog. I wanted everyone to enjoy reading it and I knew we could not fall into a trap of documenting all the sad things that happened. Let's face it, cancer may not be fun, but lots of funny things sure do happen when you are faced with it.
I hope you all have enjoyed reliving this experience with me. It has been good for me to be able to write about what happened. I know Megan and Emily will want to know the details of my experience when they grow up. What an incredible year it has been. I am forever changed.
Love,
Michele

Remembered What I Forgot...

I forgot to mention 2 things in yesterday's post. First of all, I wanted to tell how exciting it was to meet 2 of my biggest supporters this week. Kim and Carley Tisdale have been faithful readers of my blog since the beginning, even though we had never met. We finally got the chance to meet this week when I was in Arkansas. We went to dinner, along with 2 of my sisters. It was a very fun night, full of laughter, lots of good food (P.F. Changs- I love that place!) and funny stories. It was a night I will always treasure. Thank you Kim and Carley, not just for the gift but also for the support and friendship you have given me. Thanks Carley for being the coolest teen I know, you are an amazing young woman and I wish you all the best with your acting career. Kim, I love you even though you wouldn't let me buy you dinner...lol.
My sister Linda bought me something very special. She gave me a Brighton charm bracelet with 2 birthstone charms. It is the most beautiful piece of jewelry I have ever owned. We went back to the Brighton store and I purchased a cross charm. I will try to post a picture of the bracelet when I get time. Thank you Linda for this gift I will treasure forever.
Thank you to those who continue to read my blog. It means a lot to me. I love you all.
Love,
Michele;

On this date...July 30th

I am overdue for a post, I have been so busy this week. I took the girls to Arkansas to stay with my family. Scott and I are home alone! I am happy to report the extra meds have helped my anxiety quite a bit, I am feeling much better. I did not have my CT scan as planned, I am going on Aug 22nd.
Last year on Monday, June 30th I was feeling a little better and had decided I was not going to have the colonoscopy. The thought of it made me sick. I just didn't think I could do it. So when Dr. Bieser's nurse called to schedule it, I did not answer the phone and I did not return her call. She did mention in her message that I could pick up some samples of a new med at Dr. Bieser's office. It was something new that had just been approved and apparently was supposed to be a wonder drug. I did pick up the samples that morning. I came home for lunch that day and went online to check Jennifer Ireland's blog. You may remember her. She had passed away from colorectal cancer and her husband was still blogging. She was originally from Cape. From Jennifer's blog, I went to a blog written by Shawndra Turner. I had never read Shawndra's site but for some reason, I decided to read it. The first thing that caught my attention was that we shared the same birthday. She was blogging about how wonderful her birthday had been and she was worried it would be her last. She was fighting colorectal cancer and she was only 31 years old. Then I found her post about what her symptoms were. I was stunned. EXACT SAME SYMPTOMS I WAS HAVING. I could not believe it. It hit me hard and I realized this could be me. I felt like she was talking to me. She was really emphasizing how important it was to have a colonoscopy if you are having the same symptoms. I believe to this day that Shawndra Turner played a huge role in saving my life. I will always be grateful to her and I pray for her daily as she battles this disease. I have never known anyone who has fought cancer as hard as she has. She refuses to give up.
Right after that, the GI nurse called and was ready to schedule it. I had not even called Dr. Bieser's nurse back to ok the test. Apparently, Dr. Bieser's nurse had called Dr. Schneider's office and told them I was having it done, even though I had not called her back. So again, a Higher Power was at work, pushing this test. No one was asking me if I wanted it done, so I didn't really have a chance to say No thanks. I think that also played a part in why I went ahead with it. I remember I was sitting at Casey's gas station in Fruitland, writing the test instructions in my calendar (I still have the notes I jotted down). It was scheduled for August 7th, which was only 1 week away. I also remember it was the same day my friend Amy H's son was having brain surgery. A big day for both of us.
Finally, I want to mention briefly what happened when I took that new med. I won't mention the name b/c I don't want to discourage anyone from taking it. I had a weird reaction to it. Even though it did work how it was supposed to, it also made me feel like I was going to pass out. I would have these spells where I felt like my blood pressure was bottoming out. Long story short, I ended up in the ER at 3 in the morning that week b/c of that med. The ER ran a CT of my abdomen and said "no sign of colon tumors, no unusual gas patterns to indicate cancer, you are fine". I asked if I could have my colonoscopy done while I was there, they said No way, you are not sick enough, that would only be in an emergency situation.
Next episode: August 7th- Colonoscopy is performed, Life is forever changed.