All I Want For Christmas...

Well, I know why people have been saying with surprise You Look Good! Because now I look sick. I hit a 2 on the tear scale this weekend when I realized just how bad I look. I have bags under my eyes, brown patches on my skin and my hair has taken on a new texture. I am still trying to figure out how chemo has given me a thousand more freckles than I already had. For the first time since this started, I realized what it's like to look sick. It's no fun. I got out the "Look Good...Feel Better" bag of cosmetics (remember those?) this morning in hopes of perking myself up. Then I called my hairdresser and she is going to work on my hair Thursday. I am perplexed over the hair thing. It reminds me of the story in the Bible where the widow had no food and she needed oil and flour and Elijah told her the oil and flour would not run dry. Every day I lose handfuls of hair but I still have plenty to spare.
I wanted to share an Emily story. I have told several people but I thought it was worth blogging about. Last week she hit a 3 on the tear scale and told me all she wants for Christmas is for me to feel better on Christmas. She said she wanted to tell Santa that's all she wants. Then she folded her little hands and said "Dear Jesus, please let Mommy feel better on Christmas". I did the only thing I could think of- I promised her I would feel great on Christmas! Now every night, she prays the same prayer. Then Megan brought home a letter she wrote at school, she had to write a letter to Jesus. So in the letter she said "maybe you'll make Mom better". Oh, it's such a heartbreaker!
I am going to physical therapy tomorrow. I have been having back pain. I know it's b/c I have been so inactive lately. I think I am out of alignment or something. I think I've spent too much time laying around! Otherwise, I feel pretty good. The only big problem this week is these darn nosebleeds. I have a chronic post-nasal drip from the chemo but it's all blood now. Tonight, Scott and I were eating and he said I think your nose is bleeding. How gross is that.
Ok, this turned out to be a long post. Thanks for reading my blog, I love all the comments. Kim and Carley, welcome back to the blog, I was worried about you!
Talk soon.
Love,
Michele;