Sunday, June 22, 2008

One year that summer changed my life

My one year anniversary approaches and I find myself reflecting on last summer's events that led to my cancer diagnosis. Many of the details have been kept filed away in my memory; in fact, even those closest to me may be surprised to hear some of the events. The story has been retold many times, but never all of it- just bits and pieces here and there. I thought you might be interested in seeing how God intervened in my life bit by bit, like a puzzle, and in the end all the pieces fit together to complete the story and ultimately allow me to live cancer free.
There are many details that start with "One year ago today..." so that is how I will tell my story. I will blog each day that marks a "one year ago". June 25th will be the first entry b/c that is the day I have in my head that marked the official beginning.
It is not yet the 25th so I will not tell that story today but I will tell you a little about what was going on as that date approached. I had not been "myself" for quite some time- about 4-5 months. I was very tired and so irritable. I went to bed early every night b/c I was so exhausted. I was too tired to clean my house, pay the bills, keep up with the kids. I attributed much of this to the fact that I had gone off my Lexapro. We had been considering having another baby so I went off all medication. The girls really wanted another sibling but as the months progressed, I kept wondering how I could have another baby if I was already so tired. I can remember being so MAD all the time at everything. This caused a lot of tension in our house. Another strange thing I was feeling- I didn't want to go on vacation. Every year we go on vacation the first week in August. I remember sitting at the computer with Scott, shaking my head about all of it. I just wasn't interested. By the middle of June, he wasn't interested either b/c I was so stressed out, it just didn't seem like it would be fun. This was so out of character for us. We never miss a chance to vacation somewhere. To give you an idea of just how stressed out I was, in mid June I went to pick up the girls from daycare one day and I was so frazzled, I came home and said I was never taking the girls back there again. I was mad b/c they had been outside all day in the 100+ heat. I didn't care where we took them, they were never going back and that was final. I ranted so long, Scott gave me one of his famous "do what you want to do" lines so I called up the daycare and ranted some more. They were shocked. I had never complained about anything there. I had no idea where I was going to take them, I was completely irrational about it but there was no stopping me. If you watch the Weather Channel, you have probably seen the show "When Weather Changed History". I believe I could write an episode based on the heatwave we had on the day I pulled them from daycare. Kasey would be the main character in the show, but more on that later.
Stay tuned: June 25th- A Doctor's appt and a shrimp boil set the wheels in motion.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for more insight on your life , of what has happened and how you felt. Its amazing what can happen in a year.

Anonymous said...

I am eagerly awaiting my reality show of the summer entertainment...don't dissappoint - I need to hear about happy endings! :)