Thursday, July 24, 2008

On this date...July 26th

Last year on Thursday, July 26th I had reached the point where I was seriously concerned that something was wrong. I had been taking 3 different over-the-counter medications for 3 days with no results and I was beginning to get scared. I was still keeping it a secret but I knew I had to tell Scott. I was so bloated, my clothes wouldn't fit and I was having a lot of stomach and lower back pain. You may be wondering why I didn't want to tell. I know some couples who don't hesitate to talk bathroom talk but we aren't one of them. That subject is OFF LIMITS in our house, in our relationship. Anyway, I stopped by the house that morning to grab something and Scott happened to stop by too. I was sitting at the kitchen table and when he walked in, I thought here's my chance. I tried to form the words but nothing came out. I couldn't look him in the eye and say it. He left within a few minutes and I realized I blew it. So I did what anybody else would have done in this situation. I drove 30 minutes out of town, called him on his cell phone and whispered "I think I have a problem".
Friday came. We were leaving at noon to go to the lake with Danny and Becky for our annual "Pampered Campers" weekend. Scott and the girls were so excited. This is always a fun trip. I summoned up the courage to call the doctor that morning to admit my problem. It is important to remember that I had only been Dr. Bieser's patient for a month. So when I called to relay my problem, they did not take me seriously. They told me to come in Monday. I left work around noon, went home, and was so sick I could not get off the couch. We were frantic about what to do. We were supposed to be leaving for the lake and I couldn't even get up. The truck was packed and ready to go. Scott called the doctor's office for me and was told Come in Monday Or Go to the ER. He was so mad, he called them back and got ugly. So they finally agreed to see me. At the time, I could think of nothing more humiliating than going to the doctor for constipation. But I went b/c I simply could not go on any longer.
When the nurse took me in the room, I explained my problem. I then told her I was concerned about ovarian cancer b/c I had taken Clomid several years earlier and I had several of the symptoms of ovarian cancer. She looked at me and said "You're just being paranoid". That hurt me so bad and further added to my humiliation. Luckily, Dr. Bieser's attitude was completely different. He took me very seriously. I will never forget what he said when he looked at my chart. He said "You've lost weight. How can you lose weight when you are full of poo?" We both laughed and I felt better already. He told me I needed to get a colonoscopy and he would have the nurse call Monday and set it up.
By the time I got home I felt a little better, both mentally and physically. I felt a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders b/c I had finally told someone how miserable I was. Dr. Bieser has a way of making you feel better anyway. He's just that kind of doctor.
So we went to the lake and I tried to have as much fun as possible. The meds had kicked in a little and I felt somewhat better. I hardly ate at all. This was how Danny and Becky knew I didn't feel good. Our lake trip is usually all about eating junk all weekend. I felt so bad, like I was ruining the weekend, but I did try to act like everything was normal. I can remember at one point, I was getting frustrated at Emily and I took her in the back room and was talking angrily at her, telling her I didn't feel good and I needed her to behave. I can remember how I nearly blurted out "I probably have cancer or something!" but I stopped myself b/c I realized how ridiculous and dramatic that was.
Next episode July 30th How Shawndra Turner Changed My Destiny

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Its good to know somebody has an off limit subject at there house. Mine most is fair game.
twylia