Yesterday was NOT Monday and I did NOT start my day by checking a 2 year old's diaper and come out with a handful of poop. And since this did NOT happen, I did not shout to this child's mother OH MY GOSH, HE'S GOT POOP COMING OUT AND IT'S ALL OVER ME! No, that would be way too unprofessional. Today, Scott and I did NOT decide to buy a laptop in the midst of our country's economic crisis and we most certainly did NOT get into a fight in the middle of BestBuy over the cost of this laptop. I was NOT the one raising my voice. And I most certainly did NOT tell 2 store employees on 2 separate occasions that my husband has frugal buttocks. I did NOT leave him in the store to finish the purchase while I went to a training that, among other things, covered the topic "How to Make an Auditory Sandwich". I did NOT get up and go home when the speaker starting making sheep noises. No, I wouldn't do that b/c I do not spend the majority of my day making sheep noises either. I prefer pigs.
What did YOU not do this week?
10 comments:
I did NOT "FORGET" to give my child her medicine this morning because it is a pain in my frugal buttocks. I did NOT stop at McDonald's for lunch and get a cheeseburger while calling to make an appointment with a dietician about weight loss. & I most certainly did NOT decide my children didn't need baths tonight because their hair got "cleaned" in the rain today.......
Pam A.
I did NOT watch two people smoking pot while dancing on their front porch to gospel music while I was waiting on a parent to meet me in the hood.
Katie C.
I did NOT stay up until 2:30am looking for a frog that did NOT jump in my house and did NOT disappear. Because, I know my dog and cat would NOT play with it to death or NOT eat it. Carley did NOT wake up with the frog in her bathroom. Therefore, I did NOT oversleep this morning and NOT start my second Monday of the week that way. Whew, I have NOT accomplished alot this week. LOL
Kim and Carley
I did NOT forget that I worked Sunday so therefore did NOT get a phone call saying Where are you? You are NOT suppose to be at work right now.
I love Katie's NOTS that is way to funny , the hood is an experience all by its self.
and Pam , you can not get more pure then rainwater.
Any sheep sandwiches anyone?
have a great day,
Twylia
I did NOT sit in the same training and giggle uncontrollably while you spoke of the "frugal buttocks" and informed me you would not be staying a minute past 5. I did not sit and write a letter while they discussed the "auditory sandwich". I also did not say "CRAP" louder than I planned when my phone beeped and I saw it was the office in the middle of the lecture. I did not threaten to discharge a family for not showing up to therapy and when they did show up they were not 15 minutes late to pick up the kids so I was not 15 minutes late for a rehearsal in Kelso after not working a 12 hour day. How's that for not a run-on sentence.
I did NOT forget to give my child money when I dropped her off at school extra early so that she could go to school store. I did NOT miss my turn on the way back from court in Kennett and I did NOT end up on a bridge crossing the Mississippi River going into Tennesee wondering how in the heck I got there. I did NOT call the office and ask a co-worker to get on MapQuest and figure out where in the heck I was and how to get back to I-55. I was NOT about to run out of gas as I was driving around lost.
I did not have to stop and buy a toothbrush and toothpaste on the way to work because I couldn't remember if I brushed my teeth.
I did NOT tell my husband that my children were NOT out of control and that I was NOT about to
"K-I-L-L" them when he called to see how things were going. I did NOT tell my children that I was going to lock myself in the bathroom because they were NOT being obnoxious. My 2 year old did NOT have 7 screaming, crying fits last night for no apparent reason. I did NOT tell my husband to check his temp because he was so crazy. My 5 year old did NOT also have a screaming, crying fit because I woundn't carry his Capri Sun in my arms that were NOT already overflowing with other things. I did NOT bake brownies before bedtime because I knew that would NOT make me feel better.
Amy:)
I did NOT become a stricter parent on rules of video games because my 8 yr old said his best friend's mom was very strict after a playdate at the friend's house.
I also did NOT sign my child up for a $190 camp because his best friend is going when I don't have loads of extra money waiting to be spent on luxuries.
I would never be that kind of parent!
Linda
Last weekend I did NOT tell my daughter to quit crying when she hurt her finger at her brother's baseball game. I did NOT tell her to go get a popsicle and hold it on her finger if it did hurt as bad as she claimed. I did NOT pretend not to notice that it was turning purple and swelling to twice its size. I did NOT consider taking her to the doctor on Monday since that would cheaper than Saturday. I did NOT finally decide on taking her to the ER instead of Prompt Care since I knew they would bill me and I could put off paying for this "hurt" finger. I did NOT take more time to "wet wipe her down" before taking her in public. (I did have the forethought to feed her some chicken nuggets on the way to the ER). I did NOT say "not if we can help it" when the triage nurse said "She doesn't look like you beat her." I did NOT say "really?" when I saw the x-ray proving said finger was broken. And that's just the girl! I did NOT have my husband pick out my oldest son's card on the day of his birthday - no self-respecting mother would put off such a thing long enough to have to trust a man with such a task. I did NOT write an IOU in said card for a trip to the store. I did NOT take him to the mall on the way to eat his birthday dinner. I did NOT just now write on my list for tomorrow to order a cake for his party on Friday. I did NOT then turn to my almost 4 year old and say "What kind of birthday do you want?" when his party in is only 3 weeks. I did NOT look on line at Halloween costumes this afternoon in an effort to find something for my entire family! I would NOT ever procrastinate that badly. I did NOT just finish my fourth reading of the Twilight books, since I would never have time for such a frivolous indulgence with so much to do... -Amy H
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