Australia

There are 2 kinds of bad days. Some days are just BAD, like the day I found out I had cancer. Other days are what I call Alexander Days. If you've read the book to your children, you know about a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Today was one of those days.
I'll skip the part about how horrible our morning was. That was just the part that laid the foundation for the rest of my day. I can tell you that I called my friend Pam to tell her I was on the podium, ready to accept my "Worst Parent Award".

I had a 45 min drive to my first home visit. The location of this home gives new meaning to the term "middle of nowhere". A mere 5 min before I reach this place, I approach a Road Closed sign.

It's funny how, in desperation to get somewhere you need to be, you will find yourself staring at one of these signs, as if you can somehow figure a way to get past that barrier. Even if the road is completely torn up, equipment sitting there, no pavement within your field of vision, you will still stare at the sign, trying to figure a way out of this.

But an easy way out was not meant to be.

Luckily I have Greta, my Australian-speaking handy dandy GPS friend. I asked Greta to please find another route. She thought and she thought. Finally, she came up with a detour that would take me there in 20 minutes.

20 min doesn't sound like a lot of time until you realize it's all gravel. With lots of potholes d/t the rain we've had.

3 minutes before I reach my detoured destination, I come to a low-water bridge. A flooded low water bridge. (If you've never heard of a low-water bridge, leave a comment and someone will tell you).

If you read this post, you'll know why it was a good thing the girls weren't with me. Greta got an earful.

I called the home in the middle of nowhere and said "See you next week!"

I'll leave you with a quote from Alexander.

"It has been a terrible horrible no good very bad day. I think I'll move to Australia".

Maybe Greta has a spare room.

Unusual Suspects

Years ago, when I decided to be a speech therapist, I imagined I would be sitting in a classroom teaching all the Cindy Bradys of the world how to say She sells seashells by the seashore...
I was on my way to make a home visit today in Scott's truck (I drove his truck b/c of the snow and ice) and the Mom called and said "Hey, I'm running a little late, but I'll be there". I drive up and ponder where I am going to park. This house requires street parking but there are piles and piles of snow/ice along the roads. So I park and then change my mind, make a u-turn in the street, ignoring the cop I see, and park on the other side of the street. I sit, trying to decide whether the Mom has made it home yet. I cannot tell if the car is in the garage. So I get out, walk up to the door, ring the doorbell, no one answers. So I stand there and ponder...do I walk all the way back to the truck...stand there in 20 degree weather and wait....why is that cop still driving around...Then the cop pulls up behind my truck...pulls out...drives up to the house...rolls his window down. I figure, oops I parked illegally, in fact, that was my first question. He ignores my question...he has bigger and better things on his mind. He begins to question me about who I am and what I am doing. I tell him who I am and what I'm doing. He then tells me that there have been a string of burglaries in this neighborhood and several eyewitnesses reporting a white quad cab truck. JUST LIKE THE ONE I'M DRIVING!!! I was so scared! I began to blabber on about my job...my license...my name...whatever popped into my head... I do not remember what came out of my mouth. He radioed in my name and I promised to sit in my truck until the family came home. As you can imagine, I got in the truck and called the mom and said "PAM COME HOME NOW...THERE'S A COP HERE...HE THINKS I'M A BURGLAR...STOP LAUGHING...IT'S NOT FUNNY!" I don't blame the guy...come on...look at how suspicious I looked...all that parking and reparking...standing at the door...big heavy coat...gloves...I looked so suspicious, I was ready to arrest myself...I am still scared tonight that they're coming to get me...and I know I have a big red flag beside my name in the police computer...possible burglary suspect...or as Cindy Brady would say...potthible thuthpect.

Blog Giveaway!!!

I'll bet you think I'm going to talk about the holidays. Hey, you know me better than that. I've got something even better. My first Blog Giveaway!!! Read on...
I love my job. I call it my dream job. God has blessed me with a challenging but enjoyable career. In case you've just joined us, I will give a very brief synopsis. I am a pediatric speech pathologist (aka and been referred to as speech teacher, talking lady, speech friend, speech person, teacher lady, I could go on..). I provide services for children birth to 3 (plus a few older ones) in their homes. I specialize in feeding disorders but work on speech too. I get most of my referrals through a State program called First Steps. They send the referrals and I work under their many guidelines.
I say that I work in-home but technically, First Steps tells us that services must be provided "in the child's natural environment". So over the years "natural environment" has led to many creative situations. The parent ultimately deems what is "natural" for their child. What I am trying to say is, I work in whatever place the parent requests. This list, over the years, has included front porches, sidewalks, street corners, McDonalds, parks, parties, playdates, the mall, the nature center, and yard sales. The most creative place on the list has to be the ticket gate at the SEMO District Fair. Years ago, the Mom called and said she was working the gate and she needed me to work with her son while they were there. So I found myself at the gate, providing services for a child in his "natural environment".
So your challenge today is to tell me the wackiest work situation you have ever found yourself in. I will award a $10 Panera gift card to the best answer. (Katie C, get to work on picking your favorite, you have as many as I do). I can't wait to hear everyone's stories!

If we had it...

There is a legendary line spoken in our house that has been around for many years. When Barnes and Noble opened up in Cape, Scott and I went in there to browse. I was looking for a specific book so I asked an employee if they carried it. He stood there and said (and I quote) "If we had it, it would be on the shelf". So we refer to this statement whenever we get bad customer service. Today, I was in a store that I normally don't shop at and I couldn't find a certain line of clothing. I asked an employee Where is the Lands End section. She pointed and said "It's over there unless we moved it".
So this afternoon, I called the Osage Center and here is the conversation:


Hello, Osage Center, this is Kade


Hi my daughter has a party there tomorrow and we have a pinata and I was wondering if you have something to hang it from


Hold on, I'll check


Ok


Hello Osage Center this is Jenna


No, I'm on hold with Kade, he's checking on something for me


Um...as far as I know, I'm the only one here


Excuse me?


I was told I'm the only one working here today


But I just talked to Kade


But I was told I'm the only one working here today


You don't understand I JUST TALKED TO KADE, he's checking on something for me


I think you need to call back and see what happens b/c I was told I'm the only one working here today, I'm working in the weight room and...umm...I was told I'm the only one working here today.


Ok


So I hung up, called back and Kade answered, put me on hold and then I hear:
Hello, Osage Center this is Jenna


PUT THE PHONE DOWN. JUST PUT IT DOWN. NOW.


I believe if we had Customer Service, it would be on the shelf. Unless we moved it.