Since these things would never happen to me, I do not mind sharing them...
This week, a kid did NOT try to beat me up and then when she realized she was in trouble, she did NOT try to turn the next wallop into a High-Five. No, Pam's daughter would NEVER do that. She's way too sweet...
Tonight at Healthpoint Rehab, Emily did NOT propose to a male therapist she had just met. I'm talking about an all-out marriage proposal. I know my daughter would NEVER do that. That would be very embarrassing. I'm glad she would NEVER tell a man she was searching for a husband b/c she wants to have lots of babies. Earlier this week, Emily did NOT tell me she has a boyfriend in kindergarten. When she told me his name, I did NOT admit that he does belong on the cover of Child GQ. I did NOT tell her I approved of their eventual marriage b/c his mother is a speech therapist.
As a matter of fact, these tales are so outlandish, I will let you take a turn and tell me what you have NOT done lately.
9 comments:
Does I have NOT count? If so, I have NOT become totally addicted to facebook. I mean sending flair, posting flair, posting bumper stickers, passing on-line drinks, joining fictional groups --that is NOT something I would waste valuable time doing when I should be cleaning house, cooking dinner, or working. Also, I did NOT adopt a dog from the Humane Society who does not (really) get along with other animals and bring her home to meet our two cats (who may have moved into the basement permanently).
I loved the story about Emily proposing marriage! How cute!
Shawna
A neighbor did NOT have to cross a gully of woods to come "save" my child from pending doom in my own yard. No, that would NEVER happen...I watch my children better than that!
OMG! Make me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. Way to go Emmy, don't hide those feelings, Let them out. Nothing like a women who knows what she wants.
I did NOT plug in my space heater this week after working 3 15 hour shifts and wonder why my curl brush was not working.
Nor did I NOT put on my lip gloss for concealer either.
Twylia
I did NOT lay on the couch last night for 4 hours straight when my house needs cleaned and I could have been reading a book instead of watching the TV...I think I will copy your did NOT's for my post today. You dont' mind do u?
My stupid brother DID NOT leave the oven all day - no he would realize this was a fire hazard and a total waste of electricity right? He also DID NOT wreck his car he just got two months ago and not tell us about it. He is NOT sneaking home after we go to bed so he does not have to talk to us. He also DID NOT leave the door unlocked all day yesterday when there have been recent thefts in our neighborhood. No - my brother would not do those irresponsible things.
I did not send the babysitter to the library this week with my husband's expired library card to get books. I also did not go out for ice cream with my daughter the night of her kindergarten program the same week I finished my weight loss program and celebrated losing 30 pounds - no I would most definitely not make that poor a choice. I did not spank my child on the side of the highway (twice) and then pull into a police station looking for an officer willing to put the fear of God in my two year old "Houdini" for getting out of her carseat again.... and again..... and again..... No, no - I would not be that mean to my toddler.
Pam
Your stories crack me up. Emily's future husband won't know what hit him!
I did NOT send my 4 year old downstairs to let out the dog this morning. I would NOT be irresponsible enough to trust a 4 year old with such a job. I did NOT park each of my children in front of DS/internet/TV so I could take a long bath. I would NOT abuse technology that way. I did NOT tell the hungry children that they would have to wait to eat lunch until after I had clean hair and shaved legs. I would NOT be that selfish. I did NOT polish off yet another box of Girl Scout cookies today. I would NOT have such disregard for my health. I did NOT just go to Walmart at 11:00pm thinking that it was worth staying up late to go while the kids are in bed. I was NOT stupid enough to think that I would have energy left over to put the groceries away. I am NOT still sitting at the computer after midnight. I would NOT stay up until 1:00 am again. I would NOT want to repeat this morning's irresponsiblity...
HAHA Way to go Emily!
I did NOT go to a hour work out class on Saturday to then go to McDonalds two hours later (did not opt for a salad!).
I did NOT hoard a whole box of Girl Scout cookies in my computer bag for just me and not share with my family.
Thanks Michelle for letting me tell you how perfect I am! ;-)
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