Oncology appt

Saw the oncologist this morning. This guy is amazing. My parents were impressed when they met him while I was in the hospital and today, Scott was very impressed too. He spent an HOUR with us. He is concerned that I am not eating, he wanted to know if I get full fast or I just don't want to eat. It's a little of both. He may have to give me meds to stimulate appetite. Never in a million years would I have thought I would have this problem. It feels like a feeding aversion, which is ironic, since that is what I specialize in as a speech path. PET scans are scheduled for Tuesday, which was supposed to be the day I went back to work. I am waiting on McGinty's office to call me to schedule the port surgery. Anyway, Dr. Lilly talked a lot about the side effects of the chemo. I am concerned about the likelihood I will have diarrhea. My job is certainly not conducive to having this problem. Also, I will have numbness, tingling and extreme sensitivity to my hands, feet and throat. I will not be able to touch anything cold or drink anything cold. If the numbness in the feet gets too bad, it can affect my walking and driving. Again, not conducive to my job. And of course, the side effects don't go away when they turn the medicine off; with each treatment, they will last longer and longer, until it gets to the point they don't go away between treatments. Oh, the good news is- I can have sugar. He said cancer will feed off anything and if there's no sugar, it will feed off muscle or whatever else it can find. So bring on the dessert! That's a relief, since I've been stealing Megan's chocolate while she's at school. After my initial chemo treatment, I will eventually start taking the treatments over the weekend. I will go in on Friday, they will hook me up via the port in my clavicle, I will go home and it will get turned off 48 hours later. Maybe I already told you that. Anyway, I will wear a fanny pack (whoo hoo, that's a fashion statement) and I can be at home or wherever I want to be.
I hope and pray you never need an oncologist, but if you do, Dr. Lilly is just fantastic. Scott summed it up by saying he's brilliant but quirky, that's a good description. After the appt, Scott took me to Bella Italia. I haven't been in a restaurant in 8 weeks and have had no alone time with Scott in about that long, so it was nice to go out. Unfortunately, I just couldn't eat. I ordered soup and salad but ate very little. I did eat the bread. For some reason, since this whole ordeal started, bread has been the one thing I do want to eat. And I don't mean that Bunny stuff- I want real bread.
I want to say thanks to everyone who has sent cards. I love mail! My GI doc sent a real nice card with a self-addressed stamped envelope and a note that said pay now, but that's another post...
Love,
Michele

A cure for what ails you...

Are you having trouble with constipation and considering a colonoscopy? Here's what you do- have them send the bill BEFORE the procedure- you will SHIT.

Look Good...Feel Worse

Tonight I went to a program at Southeast Hospital called Look Good...Feel Better, sponsored by the American Cancer Society. It was a beauty seminar for chemo patients. As I walked in, I felt so ridiculous, I couldn't believe I was there. I kept thinking I didn't belong, why am I here- but of course, I did belong. I felt like I was dreaming a bad dream!
4/8 of us were colon cancer patients. Although I probably won't go bald, it looks like my hair will get really thin, that's what the other women said. That's b/c my chemo is different than what breast cancer patients get. So, I will probably get it cut really short, like the other women suggested.
We did get lots of free makeup-the expensive kind. All the beauty companies donate their products. Even though it's a great program and I learned some things, I think I felt worse when I left. Or maybe it was just PMS getting the best of me.
My cousin is a professional photographer, so he took family pictures this weekend. I figured I better get it done now. When he posts them on his site, I will let you know how to access.
I will post again Thursday, after I see the oncologist.
Michele

Scott's anchor

If your husband loves boats as much as mine, you will appreciate this story. I now have an 8 inch vertical scar on my abdomen that runs all the way to my c-section scar. The c-section scar is shaped like a smile. So my boat-loving husband revealed to me this weekend that he thinks it's really cool to have a wife that bears a permanent anchor engraved on her stomach. I'm so proud I could give him this constant reminder of where he would rather be!

Now on to some frequently asked q's, these tend to be what everyone wants to know but are afraid to ask, so I'll just clear the air.
1.Do we have insurance? YES. Even though we are both self-employed, we are not completely irresponsible, haha. We have very good insurance.
2.Did I have to have a colostomy bag? NO. 10 inches of my colon was removed and then re-attached and is working fine, which brings me to #3: What were the initial symptoms and have they gone away? Severe constipation and yes, things are in working order again.
4.Can you email me privately, without it being posted on the blog? YES. If you click on the envelope icon, it will email me privately. Clicking on "comment" will leave a post for everyone to read. My email is mpeters6@charter.net Also, if you leave a public comment, I cannot respond to it privately if I don't already have your email address.
Thanks and have a great week!
Love,
Michele

Toe movements???

I did waaaay too much yesterday and boy, did I pay the price. Yesterday, I ran errands for a couple of hours, then took Megan to a birthday party; I was bored and wanted to get out of the house. Then last night, I couldn't sleep, I had a lot of pain all over, I was miserable! I am having one of those days where I really wish this cancer had chosen to set up shop in my big toe, instead of my colon. It would have made things a lot simpler, they could have just cut it off and I could have gone on with my life, minus a toe. No one would ask "have you had a toe movement", "what is the consistency of your toe movements", "call us if you don't have a toe movement in 3 days".
I am here alone with both girls this morning. Scott had to work. Before he left, he gave me strict orders to "let Emily have whatever she wants", to avoid any problems. I have been surprised at how well Emily has handled everything in the past 2 weeks, but last night all her anxiety came out. She kept begging me not to go to the hospital or the doctor, she kept saying it over and over, she was really upset. She is absolutely terrified I will have to go back in the hospital and she thinks if I go to the doctor, he will put me in the hospital. I feel sorry for her. In case you are shaking your head, saying I wish there was something I could do, there actually is. Her new "thing" (and if you know Emily, you know she goes through these "things"), she loves to cut dogs out of magazines. It has become an obsession, but I am out of magazines with dogs. If you have any laying around your house you would be willing to donate, she would love it. She likes to sit with me and cut them out. It makes her so happy!
Megan is doing great since she started school this week. Can you believe 2 boys have already expressed interest in her (as only 8 year old boys can do)??? It's so cute, and she is secretly enjoying it! As you know, she reads everything, she even read my booklet about "Colon Surgery". Last night UPS dropped off a book I ordered about cancer, Scott immediately had to say "Megan don't be reading that", she said I want a cancer book to read. Luckily, I ordered one that addresses q's kids have about cancer.
Ok, this was a long post, I feel better now, this blog is very therapeutic!
Love,
Michele

Sugar

I am starting to feel a little crabby. It could be b/c I have given up sugar. I have been reading a lot about how sugar feeds cancer so I thought I better have my sweet tooth extracted. I plan to talk to Dr. Lilly about it next week. I hope the conversation goes something like this:
"Excuse me Doc, is it true that sugar feeds cancer?"
"No! Actually the opposite is true; you must consume as much sugar as you can; Sugar actually DESTROYS CANCER! So go home and raid Megan's secret chocolate stash!!!"

Anyway, I am trying to strike a balance between keeping busy but not doing too much. Without sugar, my life seems empty and meaningless, so I tried scrapbooking today, I had some great layouts of birthday cake, Thanksgiving pie, Valentines Day chocolate...
OK, gotta go, Emily wants to play CANDYLAND...
Love,
Michele

email Oprah

If you want to email Oprah, go to www.oprah.com In the upper left corner, you will see Inside Oprah.com Click on that, you will see option to email Oprah.
Thanks for asking!

Idle chit-chat

Well, I got my staples out today, finally. Since I have 2 c-sections under my belt (no pun intended), I knew it wouldn't be a big deal. My parents just left to go back home. Even though they would have stayed until eternity, I encouraged them to go home for awhile and come back in a few weeks. That way my Mom doesn't get too tuckered out from running my household.
Today I emailed Oprah, pleading with her to do a show on colon cancer. Remember the post where I mentioned I found a blog about a girl who had colon cancer, and when I read her story I decided to have the colonoscopy b/c we had the same symptoms (in case you didn't know, I had originally thought no way am I having that test). I credit her story with saving my life. We even share the same birthday. Anyway, she wants to go on Oprah and tell her story; apparently they told her they would have to get lots of requests before they would agree to it.
The only other thing I did today was order a medic alert bracelet. I am worried about all the driving I do with my job that something could happen, like a wreck, and I thought it might be important to know my info.
Something struck me funny yesterday. I got teary-eyed over a Nicholas Sparks book and then I thought, I'm crying over a fictional book and I have cancer. What could be sadder than cancer, haha.
Thanks for listening.
Love,
Michele

Rate your tears

Short post:
When you are a patient at Southeast Hospital, they ask you to continually rate your pain. Today I decided we will use the same system for rating my crying jags. That way, for future reference, you will know how upsetting something was to me by the rating I give. For example, tears in the eyes is a "1", a complete hysterical meltdown is a "10". Today, I opened an email from one of Scott's fishing buddies, he sent a picture/article about his wife and teenage daughter winning a fishing tournament. I immediately burst into tears that escalated to about a "6". Scott didn't understand why it upset me. Can anyone out there comprehend this? I couldn't explain it to him, which left him very puzzled.
Anyway, that's all for now.
Love,
Michele

Flowers, staples and burgers...

I am enjoying an hour of solitude this morning. Scott took the girls to church. Emily wanted to know why I wasn't going. My mind is still foggy so the only reason I could give was Well, I can't go, I still have staples in my belly. So Emily says Mommy are you not allowed to have staples in church?
I wanted to tell you, I became somewhat of a legend at Southeast this week, with all the flowers and visitors. One nurse said she had never seen anyone get so many flowers. It became a joke that when someone came in my room, they would always say It smells like a flower shop in here. We started laughing every time someone would say it. By Friday, I had so many visitors and visits from the floral shop, apparently when yet another visitor came, the front desk attendant said with a sigh Oh, I don't even have to look that one up, it's Room 516!
Emily now has a new food jag, thanks to her Uncle Ray who came to town this week. I am sad to say he introduced her (and I mean introduced b/c never would I allow it) to White Castle. She is now hooked. She would beg him to take her back, which he kept doing b/c he too is hooked and he thought the whole thing was hilarious. Apparently, Megan sat in the backseat at the White Castle drive thru, shaking her head repeating "heart attack in a sack, you guys are gonna regret this". Ray has left town and we are considering telling Emily that without Ray's business, the place had to close down. Anyone who knows Emily, knows how vicious her food jags are, and right now you are shaking your head, saying Oh, man, that's bad...
Amy Hume, stop laughing, I can hear you from across town...
Ok, a quick update on me, I get my staples out Wed and I see the oncologist on the 30th. He will set up PET scans, to see if anything bad shows up somewhere else. We know I have some bad cells floating around, since we found them in the lymph nodes, but they will be too tiny to pick up on scans, but the scans will show us any larger spots. Sometime in the next month, I will also have a medi-port surgically placed in my subclavian so I won't have to get poked so much, all my veins are already blown. The chemo will go in there too. I will get chemo every 2 weeks for 6 months, each injection will take 48 hours, I will go to Southeast to have it turned on, go home and go back 48 hours later to have it turned off. A few things that scare me so bad, they take my breath away are: getting the results of the PET scans and having the initial injection of chemo. So direct your prayers that way. Thanks.
Love,
Michele

Home! Home at Last!

I am home!!! It feels wonderful! I waited all day for the surgeon to make rounds. I had a speech all prepared about how important it was for me to get home, my kids were really needing me. Thankfully, I didn't have to beg too hard, he okayed it.
Just to let you know the plan, I will be receiving my chemo at Southeast. I have to wait 6 weeks, so I can heal from the surgery. I tried to convince Dr. Lilly (my oncologist) that I will recover quickly and I want to start sooner, but that's not an option. I am having a hard time waiting. I have an image in my head of the cells multiplying in my body and I want to destroy them asap.
I am tired tonight and I can't think very clearly so this is short. But Scott wants everyone to know that he discovered something very positive that comes from a cancer diagnosis- the life insurance salesmen will no longer bother us. Obviously our agent hasn't heard the news b/c he sent us a sales pitch this week.
I will write again soon, there is more to say but I am wiped out.
Love,
Michele

Sips n Chips

For days now all Michele could eat has been sips of water and chips of ice. Yesterday she was told she was ready for food. I think Cream of wheat is now her favorite dish. Her recovery
is going great ! She met with the Oncologist yesterday. He answered many of our Questions
and really made Michele feel better about everything. She may be going home Sat or Sun, YEAH!
My sister inlaws have been doing blog entries for me until now. I would like to thank everybody
for your prayers and support. We are all doing well, and are very well fed, thank you.
Finding out your wife has cancer is a big shock. We are dealing with it. I tell people it is easier for
us because we are not well organized people, This didn't really mess up any of our plans because
we didn't have any. I think it might be better than winning the lottery (bear with me )
you discover who all your friends and family are, however, they help you instead of you helping
them. Megans biggest concern is that mom will lose her hair, she will happy when I tell her
the doctor said that might not happen. Emily just wants mommy home.
When I met Michele she was 19 years old living on her own working to pay her way though school. She was a very independent and determined woman. That's what I love about her.
Over the years we have had many challenges big and small and she has over came and worked
through all of them. Our faith is strong.
When Michele gets home I know she will want to "Blog" with all of you, she loves this
communication stuff.
Again thank you for everything and keep praying.
Love Scott

Day Four with No Food

Michele and Scott received devastating news today…the cancer did spread into a lymph node. After many tears we all pulled ourselves together to talk about next steps. Southeast has a new Oncologist starting tomorrow. Michele’s doctor made a call and got the Oncologist to see her on his first day to begin preparing for additional testing and her treatments which will start after her six week recovery from Monday’s surgery. The cancer team spoke very highly of the new Oncologist. You may have seen him on the local news talking about his view on cancer recovery fatigue. His belief is exercise is best instead of staying sedentary during your recovery…Michele thought she had the best excuse in the world to cancel her gym membership. Michele had a couple visitors today which lifted her spirits when she really needed it. She isn’t ready to talk to many people about it; she needs a few more days to absorb the information and all that is ahead of her. She made great strides in physical recovery today. She was unhooked from everything but the IV and was able to shower tonight. She has a much greater appreciation for her infant patients that use a ng tube. She had hers in for two and a half days and disliked every moment. She is walking frequently and sitting up most of the day. She reached day four without food and once the ng tube came out she began feeling hungry. She resorted to begging for any kind of food by 7pm today. Tomorrow she will get jello to eat. It isn't bread but it will do. The girls' visit to the hospital today was again a highlight for Michele. Our prayer requests are for getting the best care for Michele and pray that her doctor has the wisdom to treat her. We also ask that you pray for Scott and the girls.

Thank you for your prayers.

"Colon Surgery Red"

As you know Michele always keeps her sense of humor in any situation especially those times where humor is all you have left to give. Yesterday she informed all the nurses, techs, and doctors that she had a pre-surgery pedicure and painted her toes "colon surgery red". She spent the first part of the day in and out of sleep from the morphine and was having a rough morning. Her fabulous nurse, Cindy, suggested a different pain medicine and convinced the doctor to let her have it instead of morphine. Within 15 minutes she woke up and was ready to walk. She has felt great since and has been sitting in a chair for long periods of time. She was able to walk around the fifth floor at two different times today and plans another evening stroll later tonight. The girls came up and spent time with Michele today. Megan had to check everything out including the bathroom. Megan loved Michele’s room and was fascinated by the space and storage. She hopes her college dorm room is as cool and she can’t wait to go back to the hospital to visit and hang out with us Aunts. Emily did not want to leave Michele’s side and gave her lots of love and attention. And in perfect Emily fashion she said, "You look silly Mommy". Michele wanted to be sure we told you all that she is so appreciative of all the flowers. The arrangements are absolutely beautiful. I want to personally say, thanks for the food…it has been yummy.

:)

Successful Surgery

Hi Everyone! Michele's surgery was a success and went smoothely. The doctor was very pleased and only had to remove 10 inches of her colon. He was very optimistic that the cancerous polyp was smaller (only dime size) than he originally thought. He said it didn't look like it had spread to the lymph nodes but we will know for sure on Wednesday. He checked out her liver and said it was fine. The other area Michele was concerned with was the cysts on her ovaries. The doctor broke them up and said she is fine in that area as well. We sat with her for a while after recovery while Scott held her hand. She is having a lot of pain. Our prayer requests for her is that the pain won't last long and won't be too much to handle. Also that the results on Wednesday will confirm that the cancer has not spread. Michele has really enjoyed reading the comments from everyone. We plan on printing them off and reading them to her throughout her stay in the hospital this week. Thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts. On behaf of Michele's extended family we can't express enough how much we appreciate your support.

Sisters in life & prayer,
Linda, Donna, and Carol

Can't sleep...

It's 4:30 in the morning and I have given up on sleep. I have been up most of the night, in the bathroom. There are 2 things about colon cancer that are not fun, clear liquid diets and colon preps. Yuck.
It has been so nice having my family here. My 3 sisters are so supportive and of course, what would I do without my parents. I am worried about how Emily will cope with me being gone. Last night she begged me not to go. I said I have a booboo in my belly that the dr. has to fix. She said "Mommy, I love you just the way you are". It breaks my heart to leave her, as you all know, we do everything we can to keep her world very structured so it makes me sad to upset her routine. Megan is at the question age, she freaked a little when she read the booklet about colon surgery. She keeps saying Mom this is so gross. Of course, this is coming from a child who neutered a cat at vet camp this summer. If I were an animal, she wouldn't think twice about any of it!
Scott is under strict orders to provide everyone with updates this week. So, I will close now, thanks for all the support. I never knew so many people cared about me.
Love,
Michele

Comment for all the Moms out there...

Here's a chuckle for the day. Yesterday Scott said he's really starting to wonder how he's going to do everything b/c (and this is a quote) "Michele, you do it all". WHOO HOO!!! I've been waiting 12 years to hear that!!! I didn't know I would have to get cancer to finally be acknowledged for all I do, haha. I know all you moms out there will know what I mean!

quick note

I forgot to mention, I changed the settings, you should not have to register in order to leave a comment.

"The Last Supper"

Today was a good day, I felt better than I have in weeks, I even had an appetite. I ate more than I have in weeks. Everyone wanted to know what I wanted for my "Last Supper" since this is my last day to eat. Tomorrow I start my clear liquid diet in preparation for surgery and I've been told it will be days and days before I get to eat again. So anyway, I chose a pulled pork/cole slaw sandwich. Delicious! And my sister Donna has been feeding me chocolate chip cookies all weekend.
Ok, so everyone has asked how all this started. I will tell you that things just kinda stopped working, so to speak. It was a sudden onset, so I knew something was wrong. Of course, this is NOT something I wanted to bring up, I didn't even tell Scott for a month. In retrospect, he says he knew something was wrong, I haven't been myself all summer. I have also lost weight b/c I just haven't been hungry, I have had a lot of nausea, feeling of fullness and lower back pain. So I went to the doctor, horrified to discuss the problem but desperate for a cure. My doctor was concerned enough to recommend a colonoscopy so he called GI and got me in quick. I had the test on Tuesday evening, before we left the nurse came in and said it looks like cancer. The doc called Wed and said yes, it is cancer, go see a surgeon TOMORROW. So by Thursday, I had surgery scheduled for Monday. My entire life has changed since Wed. Anyone that has ever been told they have cancer will know what I mean. There are lots of "firsts", as in the first time I said "I have colon cancer" (Cathlin, I believe that was when you called), the first time I had to write it down on yet another medical form; it still doesn't feel real. I looked in the mirror and thought how odd to know something so bad is growing inside of me. Today, Father Dave called and he is going to annoint me after church tomorrow.
The girls are handling things ok. Having a house full of company has been a little stressful on Emily, she said today she didn't like all the noise. She thinks everyone is here for a party, she keeps saying we're having a party. Megan knew something was wrong when she found out everyone was coming, she said suspiciously, Mom why is everyone coming here. On a lighter note, Megan asked if I will get to keep the piece of colon they are removing. When I said NO, she said "Mom, I would just ask if I could keep it and then I would frame it on the wall!"
Gotta go. Talk to you later.
Michele

Offers for help

We have been overwhelmed with support from everyone! Many of you want to know how you can help. So I have decided the supper suggestions would be very helpful. It's hard for me to ask for anything but I am getting over that. So, let us know what night would work for you, let's shoot for dates between Monday, the 13th on through the next two weeks. So the best way to do it would be, post a comment on the blog telling what date you have picked, that way everyone can see what nights are chosen. I think everyone has my cell #, you can call to arrange a time for drop-off. OK, more company has arrived, gotta go. Thanks again.

Surgery on Monday

I have created this blog so everyone can keep updated on how things are going. As you know by now, I have been diagnosed with colon cancer. It all happened very fast! Surgery is set for Monday. I will write more details later. Right now, I am still in shock and I have a house full of company. I know most of you are wondering how it all happened. I will get to that, I promise. Please say a prayer. I will be at Southeast Hospital bright and early Monday morning; we should know by next Wed whether the cancer is in my lymph nodes. I will have to stay 5-7 days and I will be off work about a month. Yesterday, my family jumped in the car and came to help me out. They are awesome. My brain is in overdrive, I have so much to get done before Monday! Everyone has asked what can I do? I will tell you, just pray! And who knows, I may need some help with the girls at some point, they are starting school soon and it's hard to have 2 kids in 2 different schools. Right now I feel okay but that will change next week!!! Thanks for all the offers of help. I have quickly realized how much support I have! By the way, Scott will be posting while I am in the hospital.